Siditty: Angry & Black Since 1976 - Latest Comments in http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Lee — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 13:56:47 -0000

I know the discussion was about Tyler Perry, but Darrion Albert was mentioned. I don't think it should be looked upon as just a problem in the BC issue. It should be looked on as a problem in American. Why are children killing each other. No one should feel it's a racial thing, because there have been previous killings and beatings by white students and other races. I don't think American whites are looking at that situation as look at those Blacks killing each other, and if they do they were already trying to find reasons to put us down. We need to change the violence is the answer mentality in all our communities, not just the black community. Because we aren't the only ones with the problems, trust me.

Also to comment about Tyler Perry's movies, I think his movies are moreso trying to show women and men down and out and how with the grace of God they have been uplifted. As a BW I don't feel as if I'm being insulted in any of his movies.In Diary of a Mad black woman it shows a woman who gave up herself to be with a man and forgot to love God first. She was uplifted after she went back to God and she achieved true love whether it be with a factory worker, she received the true thing she desired from the man before, it just didn't come with the jewels and the cars. There are stereotypes for everyone, WW are dumb and submissive, HW like to have a bunch of babies, BW are lazy and are on welfare, who cares. You determine who you are and who cares what other people think of us. They are going to think it anyway.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Lee — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 09:56:47 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Joe Clyde — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:46:40 -0000

@Hawkmoon
Having a degree means nothing if the person lacks content and/or character.

Excellent post. It seems some people feel that a piece of paper entitles you to be rude, and obnoxious. But truth be told. These people have always been this way.

There is a reason you are single, and bitter. Look in the mirror. That goes for Black men and Black women. People really need to get over themselves. Honestly.

-----------------------------

I look at Tyler Perry the same way I look at BET booty videos. They are used as gateway tools.

Black women were not shown as sex symbols until the booty shaking videos came around. That is the ugly truth. I looked back at 80's hair band videos. Didn't see any Black chicks dancing behing Motely Crue.

So while it is ugly. It allowed America to see beautiful women of different hues. Now there is a sudden explosion of Black women all over. I don't find that a coincidence.

Now for Tyler Perry movies. He did something that nobody else was able to do. Get America to pay attention to a predominately Black cast. A Black male lead, and a Black female lead. Aka. a Dead Movie to White Execs.

He sprinkled in coonery to mask it, but the now you Tarii P. Henson getting nominated for Oscars. Do we honestly feel that her talent would have been shown earlier? No.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Joe Clyde — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 14:46:40 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Anonymous — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 09:13:37 -0000

To the poster who asked why does everyone hate Tyler Perry, I am not sure why other people "hate" him. I don't. I don't care for the way he portrays black women all the time, but I am a sucker for the Madea character. She cracks me up. I take him playing her in a comedic role and that is it. I am happy for Perry that he has been to do well. I hope that people who get a positive message from his plays realize that there are many different sides to black women and black men. People are always trying to put us in box, especially black people.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Anonymous — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 05:13:37 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Jamdown — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:56:39 -0000

Why does everyone hate Tyler Perry? Except the millions who pay to see his movies?

Just asking.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Jamdown — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 20:56:39 -0000

Why does everyone hate Tyler Perry? Except the millions who pay to see his movies?

Just asking.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Anonymous — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 05:06:38 -0000

"My white husband dropped out of college and joined the Army. He's a pilot now. A somewhat prestigious title and profession, but to an educated, black woman seeking an "equal" he wouldn't be worth her time."

I don't think people who furiously criticize bw for having high standards refer to situations like yours. It's usually more of a "she has a PhD and he's a cab driver" kind of thing, no offense to anyone. Pilots have never had any trouble getting laid or getting married, and there are also other jobs that don't require a college degree, but require some serious brains and skills, like Siditty said.

"Love is love. What does it say about black women, when the dealbreaker is a college degree? Are black men that terrible, where we have to set these kinds of standards?"

Love is love, but we all have our filtering criteria, how is this criterion any worse than others? I know two wonderful bm who get rejected regularly for being short (not even Danny DeVito short, just shorter than average), and people are understanding of that, because attraction is attraction and you can't fake it. It seems to me that when the dealbreaker has to do with sex or emotions, then it's fine; when it has to do with your intellect, suddenly it's not.

"However, some of the most inarticulate, uncultured, morons I've ever met have been on college campuses. Business majors, to boot. Having a degree means nothing if the person lacks content and/or character."

College definitely doesn't make you a better person. If you look at it as just a way to get a degree, with the bonus of being drunk or high in the meanwhile, of course it won't make you better. But it does give you a much better chance to improve yourself, if you want to take it. You have 4 extra years in which you get the time, the environment and the resources to evolve intellectually; if you take advantage of that, it will surely show on you.

I feel like I'm already going off-topic here. My point is that stereotyping the women who have high goals is dangerous for a community, because young girls need role models, and if it comes to "educated woman = bitter evil shrew that deserves to die alone", that sends out a very wrong message.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Anonymous — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 01:06:38 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

HawkMom — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 00:41:05 -0000

"...but when someone takes pride in their education, it's seen as elitist and condescending."

Not to me. I understand pride in education. I'm proud of mine. I'm two generations away from sharecroppers. Having an education is awesome. Wanting an equal partner who is financially stable is fine. However, some of the most inarticulate, uncultured, morons I've ever met have been on college campuses. Business majors, to boot. Having a degree means nothing if the person lacks content and/or character.

My white husband dropped out of college and joined the Army. He's a pilot now. A somewhat prestigious title and profession, but to an educated, black woman seeking an "equal" he wouldn't be worth her time.

I mention race, because I do understand the pickings are slim when it comes to educated black men and women. However, most of the white people I know didn't even go to college, and those who did don't make it a deciding factor in who they date. We travel with the military, but I've noticed a lot of white couples where the wife has an advanced degree, while the husband joined up right out of high school. Love is love. What does it say about black women, when the dealbreaker is a college degree? Are black men that terrible, where we have to set these kinds of standards? Are white women's standards lower? I'm asking here, not making any presumptions.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

PioneerValleyWoman — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 00:17:23 -0000

Siddity:

I never see this talk given to all the white, divorced, moms out there. I wonder why? They are a prize even if they have children.

My reply:

And when white women are baby-mamas, they are seen with more sympathy--they were abandoned by a man who would not do right by them, but black women are seen as merely amoral or as evil witches who tried to trap the fathers of their children but were caught in time...

A perfect example, Seal dated Heidi Klum while she was pregnant with another man's child--some Italian she was dating. Klum said that he is the only father she has ever known, having married him either before the birth or after.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Anonymous — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 20:54:01 -0000

"The killer for me is that many times "blue collar" workers have vocational training or other training. You can't just become a licensed plumber, you have to apprentice. You can't just become a mechanic, you need some training or working your way up. Airplane mechanics are "blue collar", but many make great money and they have vocational training that makes them certified to do so. So even if you are "blue collar" many times, you still need an education, even if it isn't traditional college."

I know, many professions require some type of education, but that guy was talking about extremes and the point of his rant was that black women should just settle for any guy who doesn't have a criminal record. He was obviously frustrated because he was dumping on people with college degrees (and bw in particular) when he couldn't even spell correctly. Not that it matters what one loser thinks, my point is that this attitude towards successful, educated bw is something I've seen before.
On the other hand, I know a white lady, middle-aged, divorced, overweight, frumpy, 4 kids, no education and no job (lives off of alimony), who exclusively dates black men and only goes after tall, very attractive, successful ones, and no one tells her "woman, wake up and take a look at yourself first". May be she is an exception, I don't know, but her entitlement to A-class bm never seems to shock anyone.

"By the way, it grates when I hear black people describe themselves as "educated". Who really cares whether or not you sat in a classroom for four extra years? That doesn't make you any more entitled to marry wealthy. Humility, please."

Some people care about that, and people who took their education seriously (not just for a piece of paper)have all the right to be proud of it. It is an achievement for which they worked hard, it doesn't mean they look down on others because of that. I'm not American, so it surprises me to hear people taking more pride in how much money they make and everybody thinks it's ok, but when someone takes pride in their education, it's seen as elitist and condescending. It has nothing to do with gold-digging, but if a professional woman makes very good money, why shouldn't she aspire to date an equal?
I have been called "evil" and "weird" because I expect a guy to be educated, articulate and financially stable (not rich, just stable), like wanting all that makes me incapable of real love, I must be a calculated, heartless bitch. And I'm sure many other women have been through that.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

HawkMom — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 20:41:05 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Beautifully.Conjured.Up — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 20:41:02 -0000

"So you are saying perpetuating stereotypes has no impact on you as an individual."

Yes I am. The veil has been lifted from my eyes a long time ago, and I found out I have this wonderful thing called a brain. No one can force anything upon you unless you allow it. I don't allow stereotypes to dictate my reality...my future. Unfortunately, many people don't understand the power of a strong a mind...a mind that isn't easily deviated from the truth...one's own truth that is define by his/her perceptions.

I see black people portraying "stereotypes" everyday, and I don't succumb to them...I damn sure won't succumb to them in a movie.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

PioneerValleyWoman — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 20:17:23 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Anonymous — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 16:54:01 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Beautifully.Conjured.Up — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 16:41:02 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Talulazoeapple — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 16:39:50 -0000

Wow people, RELAX.

Tyler Perry writes movie for a specific audience that has been ignored by Hollywood. Just because he is black does not mean he represents ALL black people.

I am proud of what he has accomplished. I went with my girls to see I Can Do Bad All By Myself and we laughed and cried and had a good time.

I kinda hate it when some Black people wanna ride their high horse and look down on the other experiences of some blacks that may make them feel uncomfortable around their white friends.

I grew up in the hood and bad stuff like what's in TP films happens all the time.

Just a thought.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

HawkMom — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 16:26:55 -0000

Funny and true. I avoid TP movies like the plague. It really annoys me how heavy-handed the morals are: "Rich people are evil. Poor people are noble and righteous." I notice this in most films, not just his, though. It's reverse elitism.

By the way, it grates when I hear black people describe themselves as "educated". Who really cares whether or not you sat in a classroom for four extra years? That doesn't make you any more entitled to marry wealthy. Humility, please. In case anyone is wondering, I do have a degree, but I don't wave it around in people's faces to prove how "rare and different" I am as a black woman.

Whenever I see or hear "I'm an educated black (wo)man...", I immediately tune out. Usually what the person has to say after that completely contradicts the preface.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Siditty — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 14:52:58 -0000

I'd like to think of myself as a black woman who is an independent thinker, and in no way shape or form do I feel as though his images are inflicting a negative ideology or a mentality that would set me back or anyone else. If a movie has that much power to set someone back or change their whole mentality, then that person has a bigger issue, and needs to take that up with some professional medical help...not Tyler Perry. Many women in our community neglect themselves on a daily basis; they don't need a movie to do such.

So you are saying perpetuating stereotypes has no impact on you as an individual. I differ in opinion. No one is bashing Tyler Perry, we just don't think of perpetuating stereotypes as something uplifting and positive.

-----------

I remember once reading on an IR forum something along the lines of "black women should stop chasing successful bm and give a chance to the blue-collar brothas, because there are plenty of good men among them". Written by a black man who was actually taking pride in cutting the middleman and achieving wealth without education.

The killer for me is that many times "blue collar" workers have vocational training or other training. You can't just become a licensed plumber, you have to apprentice. You can't just become a mechanic, you need some training or working your way up. Airplane mechanics are "blue collar", but many make great money and they have vocational training that makes them certified to do so. So even if you are "blue collar" many times, you still need an education, even if it isn't traditional college.

. Some men will always see educated, independent women as a threat to their masculinity and will try to vilify them.

I do think that educated and "white collar" career type women threaten men regardless of race.

--------------

Yes, I'm still fuming over the animalistic, savage killing of Darrion Albert.

That case angers me to no end. It's pathetic, sad, and shows we are in a sad state of affairs. It shows our crabs in a barrel mentality. You don't want someone else to be better than you, so you knock them down. I guess giving a damn about your education and trying to stay out of trouble is "thinking you are better than someone"

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Siditty — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 14:52:58 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Anonymous — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 13:53:23 -0000

The only reason the black community is still standing is because of black women. We are the ones raising the families, going to school, and working. Not to say there aren't black men out there doing there part but it's not enough of them. I saw Don Lemon interviewing an ex gang member on CNN this morning and the older guy seemed to blame everyone but the people responsible. Alot of black men make themselves look like victims. I don't buy the environment shapes the attitude mentality. Not completely. It can play a part in it, but not all. That little boy who was killed was from the same enviromenmet and was on honor roll as the animals that killed him. Yet the ex gang member jailbird was blaming the blacks who have become successful and moved out, the police and everybody but the people committing the crime. I thought he looked foolish. When will the black community start reporting the shady shit that they see instead of not wanting to tell on a brutha? Fuck protecting people who aren't looking out for you. These are the future black men out there beating the fuck out of good kids who are trying to do something. Saying NO to the shit they know is wrong and trying to lead a positive life. If someone else wants to intervene and help those assholes who killed that boy, feel free. I want to help the ones who want to help themselves. You have to want more. We all know right from wrong. Most of us have that little voice. For those of us that don't, maybe pyschiatric help is the next step.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

Talulazoeapple — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 12:39:50 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-tyler-perry-movies-have-taught-me.html

HawkMom — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 12:26:55 -0000