Siditty: Angry & Black Since 1976 - Latest Comments in http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Zaire — Sun, 09 Sep 2012 00:47:44 -0000

Maybe there are some who genuinely aren't attracted to them, why force someone to eat what they don't like?

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Nikki — Thu, 26 May 2011 20:48:04 -0000

My husband is white. It IS very strange to me that black men notice me MORE now then ever. I am very attracted to my blue collar white guy. He works hard, loves family and we spend all our time together or missing each other. We are super close. I couldn't be with him without my attraction to him. I am a black women who loves white men. Not their money, but the way they LOVE me. It's really super simple:). I am really enjoying my opportunity to be a female! Im not a supa dupa strong black sistah. I am, in 2011, a traditional woman, who loves a traditional male. Life is short and this WORKS.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Arcadia73 — Sun, 15 May 2011 16:19:40 -0000

I just stumbled upon this blog today. Very interesting topics you have, btw! I would just like to add a few comments of my own. I am a biracia( African-American/Scottish) woman who has ALWAYS been attracted to white men. Period! Hell, I married one 3 years ago, actually. As early as age 5 I can remember having crushes on the little white boys in my neighborhood. I'm not sure if it's because of the predominantly white area that I was raised in or perhaps the fact that I have more "culturaly white" interests and tastes ( i.e., rock music, sushi, Indian food & the TV shoe "Friends" lol....) but I can't honestly remember longing for a relationship with a black man. I mean, I did date a black guy once ( he was mixed too, actually) but my overall preference physically and culturally has always drawn me to white guys. So SUE me, LMAO! The heart wants what the heart wants...

~Bright Blessings~

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Arcadia73 — Sun, 15 May 2011 16:19:07 -0000

~Bright Blessings~

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

laromana — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 23:23:59 -0000

"BM ARE NOT the CENTER of a BW's universe and WE DON'T NEED YOUR INPUT IN ANY PART OF OUR LIVES."

I meant to say,
BM ARE NOT the CENTER of a BW's universe and we don't NEED ANTI-BW BM'S INPUT in ANY PART of OUR LIVES.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

laromana — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 19:23:59 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

satonearth — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:01:28 -0000

Well, I guess I have to explain why I haven't dated a black man. I haven't dated one because the ones that come up to me aren't worth dating aka the thug looking ones and the older men that are 20 years my senior, that's not my thing. I like a man who can hold a meaningful conversation. I like nerdy looking men because that's what I am. I did say I would date other men, but I have a stronger attraction for white men. I didn't say I ONLY have an attraction for white men.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

satonearth — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 10:01:28 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

laromana — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 00:22:43 -0000

Again, this post doesn't have ANYTHING to do with BW who criticize BM's relationship preferences.
The fact that CERTAIN BM feel the need to come to this blog and judge BW'S relationship preferences is proof enough of their ARROGANCE, IGNORANCE, and STUPIDITY.
BW don't need PERMISSION/APPROVAL from ANYONE (LEAST OF ALL BM) to decide who we prefer to love, date, or marry.
BM ARE NOT the CENTER of a BW's universe and WE DON'T NEED YOUR INPUT IN ANY PART OF OUR LIVES.
If saying that seems "HATEFUL" to CERTAIN BM, they can learn to DEAL WITH IT and MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

laromana — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 20:22:43 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Joe Clyde — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 15:12:27 -0000

La -

If you didn't care about Black men. You would call them "DBR". (Cult follower).

The opinion of Black men shouldn't matter, any more than the opinion of Asian men to you. Right? Because Black men were no factor in your decision to date white.

So why the hatred? Why the animosity?

I have never said that Black women couldn't and don't have a preference for white men or whatever race of man.

BLACK WOMEN DATING OUT ARE NO BETTER OR WORSE THAN BLACK MEN DATING OUT.

When will you hypocrites get them message.

btw. I am engaged to a dark skinned black woman. I just don't like the hypocrisy.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Joe Clyde — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 11:12:27 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

laromana — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 21:35:46 -0000

There is NO "hypocrisy" in NOT having a preference for BM. That's the MAIN POINT of this post.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

laromana — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 17:35:46 -0000

There is NO "hypocrisy" in NOT having a preference for BM. That's the MAIN POINT of this post.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Casper — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 15:28:00 -0000

I never had any issues by black men who's sister/daughter I have dated. In fact I have mostly been met by "Are you hungry?"

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Casper — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 11:28:00 -0000

I never had any issues by black men who's sister/daughter I have dated. In fact I have mostly been met by "Are you hungry?"

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Joe Clyde — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 22:03:35 -0000

-Black men are narcissistic as hell
-the chronic ARROGANCE and IGNORANCE of MANY of these DBR BM DISGUSTING and OFFENSIVE.
-The Black Male in America for a Black Woman like me falls short on all accounts.Why would I be attracted to such a man?
- I do not desire Black men, and some Black men need to get over that.

Interesting from a group of people who claim that Black men had no influence on their decision to date white men.

*****Yanmomma******
Excellent job pointing out the glaring Hypocrisy of SOME of these Black women.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Joe Clyde — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 18:03:35 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Golden Silence — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 19:23:25 -0000

Will it ever get through these fools' thick skulls that just because someone's the same race as you, doesn't mean you're entitled to them? Good grief.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Golden Silence — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 15:23:25 -0000

Will it ever get through these fools' thick skulls that just because someone's the same race as you, doesn't mean you're entitled to them? Good grief.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Yanmommasaid — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 14:36:29 -0000

My comments are specifically geared towards the situation of American black women who seem to have, or who have overtly professed an inborn markedly higher or sole preference for white men.In that scenario, I don't see what the preference of some black men for non-black or lighter-skinned black women has to do with it, if indeed "black men are not a factor". They could be singing the praises of dark skin and natural hair from on high and it would have made no difference for whom these women wanted to date.

Pulling it into conversations about why one dates out does lend creedence to the popular theory that bw date out just b/c they are "mad at the brothers". I'm with Laramona- bw do not need to give any justification for who they are dating. If anyone ever again asks me why I date out, I'll say "why not? Why shouldn't I?" instead of buying into the thought that my choices need to be defended. "My boyfriend and I are happy and in love. Why shouldn't we be together?"

Certainly I was not asking anyone to justify or defend their dating preferences. I was asking for an explanation of what appeared to be a double standard. I can't condone preferring another race/"discriminating against your own race" as liberating and open-minded for black women but as a manifestation of self-hatred and traitorism when done by black men. It's all the same to me.

I did neglect to mention the tendency of many black men to go out of their way to trash black women in any medium they can find.
I find that behavior despicable and I absolutely do not believe in turning the other cheek. After bearing the brunt of such attacks for so long, most bw realize you only sound like a damn fool when tearing down the same physical attributes you yourself possess, so we attack the behaviors and attitudes of bm instead. There is certainly plenty to be said about that, and it should be said, but perhaps not in the context of why you are in or drawn to IR relationships, if that is NOT what "drove" you to IR date.

Many of these defamers still date/marry black women and doubtless not every black man who dates out engages in this behavior. However, it's not a universal behavior among all black men so I think it's more than a stretch to declare it pathology every time you see a black man with a white or light-skinned black woman...unless you want to see it that way for black women also. Is wanting to escape blackness really the only reason someone could want to be with a light-skinned black person or nonblack person?

I was talking to my boyfriend, yes, he is white, about how black folks often need to put down the opposite sex members of their race when they date out, and he said perhaps it is because of guilt. I can see that. Perhaps for SOME people, and I am not saying this applies to anyone here, deep down inside they suspect self-hatred so in order to avoid that feeling they vociferously make the case that the same race people they do not want to date are defective and unworthy of romantic attention.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Yanmommasaid — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 10:36:29 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Grata — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 04:36:43 -0000

"We are speaking of intimate/romantic relationships. People should have the right to choose who they will or will not share their bodies and personal space with, without having to explain it to you."

It has been argued that one of the underlying driving factors of the Civil Rights movement was the Black Male's need to sleep with the White women. White women before that weren't exactly running in droves to the Black Men.(Though you would like to believe that was the case).

But Black men argued and continue to argue their way into bedding them. So what is wrong with Black women demanding that they get bedded by the men that look like them? Is this what we have come to now, to convince Black men to desire their own women. really?

Judging by your tone, you sound disgusted by the idea confirming your own self hatred.

Is it so much for Black women to demand that their own men desire them(Excluding me ofcourse) or atleast not trash their image publically?

And my lack of desireablity for the Western Black Male again is not physical, its my perception of them. Men who treat their women the way present day Black Western men do are not worthy to me.

"And you can keep in mind the next time youre arrested that you can be around black men, whites or anyone else all you want AND they still don't have to desire you."

LOL! For the record. I have no problem attracting either group.
Focus, we are talking about a societal problem. As an individual I really don't have much to complain about. I know its hard for you to grasp that some people can sympathize with an issue that does not have an immediate impact on them. Incase you hadn't noticed the owner of this blog is happily married but she still addresses issues affecting Single Black women. Why do you think that is?
Many of us are going to raise children in this world and we don't like the way it looks. We want a better environment for our children. Yes its that simple.

"Black mothers need to raise their children up to find beauty and desirabilty in dark skin and African features -- maybe then you won't have a generation of young women banging their heads against a brick wall because the men they want don't want them."

WOW! So it is the Black Woman's responsibility to bear the children, take care of them herself and give them the confidence they need to face the world? Where is the Black male in all this? So if your are a Black woman and you have African looking children its up to you to raise your children with all the confidence they need to face the world? I mean WOW! Where does society's responsibility come in?

This is one hell of a battle that will most likely be lost by all those dark skinned African looking women. In essence these women are really totally on their own.

Thanks for the insight.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Anonymous — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 01:14:54 -0000

Hmmmm interesting isn't it? Next time you get wrongfully arrested, don't assume its your skin color you shouldn't be around white people in the first place.
-----
Yeah, I keep all that in mind the next time I'm next time I'm wrongfully arrested....

And you can keep in mind the next time youre arrested that you can be around black men, whites or anyone else all you want AND they still don't have to desire you.

And it really is too late to try to get grown men to change a deeply neurotic need to acquire and be seen with acceptable, fashionable, trendy, coveted, etc. thngs and people. Black men often have more of a need to acquire highly sought after and conspicuous "objects" (sadly enough, this often includes women) because they feel these "things" prove they have worth.

Black mothers need to raise their children up to find beauty and desirabilty in dark skin and African features -- maybe then you won't have a generation of young women banging their heads against a brick wall because the men they want don't want them.

All that moaning and groaning that's going on now isn't changing anything.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/08/black-men-are-not-factor-in-all-ir.html

Grata — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 00:36:43 -0000