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No, it just means eHarmony wants to capitalize from black women's loneliness. Notice the ads of that same ilk, always seem to be talking to BW and not WM?
How many eharmony ads have black women in them, and don't the women usually talk in the ads, regardless of race?
What they want is BW's money, but I can tell you from experience that the site is full of men who want ABBW (anything but a bw). Notice that they only had one bw success story?
When Match and Eharmony come up with more than one happy bw to show on their commercials, that will be mainstreaming..
How many eharmony ads have black women in them, and don't the women usually talk in the ads, regardless of race?
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Sidtty, what I meant was (and this is not a criticism of just eHarmony, but IR ads focusing on bw/wm) the advertisers seem to want BWs money by capitalizing off their loneliness, their beauty issues, etc...yet they never seem to speak to wm wanting to date bw.
My guess is that there is a much bigger market of lonely black women who will happily shell out their hard-earned dollars with the promise of romance & happiness. (groan) On the flip side, even though there are plenty more wm in this country, there aren't many interested in bw for the advertisers to build a target audience around.
From what others have said about anything-but-a-bw attitudes on eHarmony, I would say, um, yeah...eHarmony wants to get BWs money in return for frustration and heartache. (sorry I'm feeling very bitter & discouraged about my love-life so it will resonate in every single post)
I'm pretty surprised about the reactions so far on here though. I remeber not too long ago people were wondering why IR couples were never shown on main stream dating sites. Now that there is one they are just trying to capitalize off of peoples loneliness? Wow. I was hoping for more postive feed back because for some reason, even BW don't want to let themselves be happy.
Sure, most main stream dating sites are going to cater to a certain audience in order to get money. Isn't that how any buisness works? But at the same, I can persaonally say that I am impressed that they did decide to show a BW/WM that found each other.
I think that if IR supporters want IR to be seen as just as any other relationshionship, people really need to let go of this debbie downer/negative nelly attitude.
the ad was just an ad. the only importance it has is what people give it. anything you see beyond them trying to sign people up for eHarmony, is all from you.
also, so stoked on the new star trek! didn't even think about them being a bi-racial couple, but then again, there are bigger differences in that "universe" than skin color.
As for the Star Trek movie, I plan to go see it sometime in the upcoming week; Zoe is one of my favourite actresses plus I cant just ignore the BWWM IR romance depicted in the movie lol.
With the Black man's cause quickly becoming irrelevant, focus is beginning to turn to the BW's issues.
The Black man now has very little cause not to get ahead. He has reached the highest office and he can freely associate with WW (A good career move for any Black man).
The Black man can continue to scream racism all he wants but Obama being in office has put a big dent in that argument. Only time will tell how damaged that argument really is.
The blatant discrimination of the BW by all including the BM is becoming a growing issue. But BW women may also be eclipsed by the Hispanic cause. I get the sense that White America feels it has paid its dues to Black America as a result of the Obama presidency. That race card has been devalued.
So such ads will continue to pop up and any negative criticism will have a severe back clash bringing the BW's issue to the forefront. What I don't see happening is the Black man, after losing the spot light, defending the Black woman when such a back clash occurs, he afterall has nothing to gain from it.
I was trying to see which other women come close to the struggles of BW, I came up with Arab women but then I realized that their men are alot more productive than black men. I had to scratch them off. Their men "oppress" them, depending on who you talk to ofcourse, but they take care of them more (maybe too much) than Black Western men do for BW.
@ Phi Sister and Tiga - I know, right?!?! Great movie!
About the issue at hand...I enjoyed seeing that eHarmony commercial. And yes, I also believe that bw/wm combos are mainstreaming.
Forgive me, didn't mean to turn you from IR couplings for BW. My beef was with Eharmony. I am now at another site especially for folks that want to be involved interracially, and am having the time of my life! And the monthly cost of it is like half of what Match and E was charging me!
My beef is this: Eharmony had to make this commercial, because bw started to complain that their money was being taken and they were not being matched as promised. So E had to make this commercial to cover their asses and say "see, she found one!"
And the fact that bw had to again jump and shout to make yet another company say "oh, you do exist" pisses me off even more. Sorry, I guess I am a little bitter too! ;)
Sorry to get off topic, Sid. Long story short, if bw want to online date wm, go to sites that specialize in IR and save yourself heartache and cash.
Will see Star Trek tomorrow! Wolverine was the bomb!!
I have seen the Star Trek movie last night, and I loved it. (I am a Trekkie, so I had to see it.) And if you're talking about what I think you're talking about, then yes "What could have been?" indeed!
I'm also surprised by the negativity about this ad. At least they showed it. All ads are to get money. They could've easily shown any other IR couple or whatever, but they did a BWWM couple, and I loved that they didn't mention race. They just mentioned love. I didn't take it as "oh they're doing the BW a favor" or they're catering to the lonely BW. I saw it saw it as "hey, BWWM relationships are getting more mainstream." I am in a descent mood right now though, so that influences things. I can see how if I watched this yesterday when I felt like s**t, I would've said some doubtful things too. I wish I could offer words of encouragement for all us single ladies, but I'm pretty single too lol.
sidenote: I want to see Star Trek specifically for the IR--good marketing ;) not to mention the guy who plays kirk is hot and they look good together!
Please warn people before posting comments. Not everyone has gone to see the movie yet, and what you just posted could be considered a spoiler.
My bad, didn't think it was that much of a spoiler, especially since the actors are already talking about it in interviews, but whatev.
btw, was I the only one who thought Spock was so SEXY! in star Trek?
I'm going to see Star Trek this week. I'm glad they paired Zoe Saldana with some fine eye candy (Chris Pine).
Sure the Eharmony ad is cute and apropos, but who really wants to shell out $50+ for a membership...?? That's my biggest complaint about that site..lol
Sid,
Have you heard the latest with Nick Cannon calling out Eminem over his lyrics insultig him and Mariah Carrey?
I found this line interesting.
"Nick argues that Eminem's attack on Mariah is indicative of negative comments he made about Black women on the song "Foolish Pride" recorded prior to the release of his Interscope 1999 debut The Slim Shady LP. "How did we let him get away with that in the first place?"
Me thinks the chickens have come home to roost. Once society is done with insulting dark skinned women, they will move to the near white ones and that is when Black men will get all Nick Cannon on those that insult 'their' women. LOL!
Its called racism. What I hadn't realized until recently was that the struggle against racism had mostly the Black male as the main subject. Everyone forgot about the Black female including the Black male.
The Black male still has his challenges but is alot more accepted in the Main stream than the Black female. The BW's treatment by the Media today is not even comparable to the lowest point of the Black Male image. Simply because some of the offenders are indeed Black men. So you have the outer society to deal with and the Black Male too.
BM as I see it have no interest whatsoever in fighting for BW's equal rights. Its a sad state of affairs.
BW need to get this reality.
I am now dating on a site for IR dating. Very good site, I get about 6 or 7 winks or flirts a day from mostly really nice men.
In my profile, I listed who I am, my pic, and very specifically what I wanted in a mate. I wrote out "white or hispanic male" instead of 'wm' "hm" to avoid any confusion and to save people some time.
If I get 10 hits or flirts, guess who at least half of them are from? You guessed it - BM!! I get these long messages, can I holla holla at ya's, etc.
So, are these men not reading my profile or is this their way of saying "WM? I don't think so!"
lol!
It doesn't surprise me that there's an IRR in Star Trek. Almost all the bw/wm pairings I've seen on the big and small screen have been in the sci-fi or action genre. When I see more bw/wm romantic comedies then I'll think it's becoming more mainstream. That's why I hope Away We Go with John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph is good and does well at the box office.
But for every Star Trek, there's been movies like The Family That Preys or Lakeview Terrace or Obsessed. For all the talk about eHarmony exploiting black women's loneliness, these films seem like cautionary tales to black women. "The white man is going to use you! You're putting yourself in danger! White women are out to take your black men away! Watch out! Beware! Danger! Danger!"
I believe one day there'll be a successful romantic movie starring a bw/wm. No running from bullets, space aliens or zombies. A good romantic comedy. But I tend to imagine it will be a sleeper hit. And the mainstream print media like Time magazine will do a big feature article making it seem like bw/wm pairings happened overnight. At least that's what I imagine.
Sorry Siditty for being off topic but just wanted to comment in regards to the Nick/Maria vs. Eminem story.
Grata I read some of the comments and I have to say that black people scare me. So many black men and women were defending Eminem and insulting Nick for defending Mariah. Their reasoning was that Eminem is talented and has contributed to hip-hop while Nick Cannon is corny and is Maria's pool boy. They even resulted to calling Mariah very tasteless names.
There is something wrong in the black community when we defend the likes of Eminem and Chris Brown who are beating up and disrespecting the black woman. Yet somehow it is the woman's fault. And when Nick defends his wife, people decide to call him a punk, corny, or derogatory names.
We as a race need to do better. It really saddens me to see people defend Eminem who calls black women hoes and when you call them out on it, use the defense that so do black men which makes it ok. It is not ok. We are a lost race and need to get our act together.
Sorry Sid,
In regards to the post...it is nice to show interracial love but knowing that e-harmony is trying to make that paper, you have to wonder how genuine their message is.
Its called racism. What I hadn't realized until recently was that the struggle against racism had mostly the Black male as the main subject. Everyone forgot about the Black female including the Black male.
The Black male still has his challenges but is alot more accepted in the Main stream than the Black female. The BW's treatment by the Media today is not even comparable to the lowest point of the Black Male image. Simply because some of the offenders are indeed Black men. So you have the outer society to deal with and the Black Male too.Yeah, I think that this happened during the civil rights movement. Have you noticed that when you read history books and they talk about how America has come a long way and they say African-Americans and women of having their rigths. Black women never was included in the Women's suffrage movement, when we are women as well. I think it's hard for Black women to choose race or gender because it both affects us. Most times, Black women choose race.
torgoman said:
But for every Star Trek, there's been movies like The Family That Preys or Lakeview Terrace or Obsessed. For all the talk about eHarmony exploiting black women's loneliness, these films seem like cautionary tales to black women. "The white man is going to use you! You're putting yourself in danger! White women are out to take your black men away! Watch out! Beware! Danger! Danger!"
I believe one day there'll be a successful romantic movie starring a bw/wm. No running from bullets, space aliens or zombies. A good romantic comedy. But I tend to imagine it will be a sleeper hit. And the mainstream print media like Time magazine will do a big feature article making it seem like bw/wm pairings happened overnight. At least that's what I imagine.Man, this was on point. I agree though, I like e harmony ads because I just like to see people who are in love. However, I want to see black women as normal women and not the three stereotypes all the time. The jezebel, sapphire, and mammy.
I'm sorry but I just found the tape funny if anything, he sounds so bitter lol, when did he make that song?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDJDhVkRhtQ
Black women need to choose that which benefits them. If its race then they go for it. But like we have learnt supporting the Black Male's cause is not going to benefit the BW.
If they choose the women's cause then race will become an issue down the line. Black women need to have their own cause because their challenge is unique to only them. White women can't relate, Black men have no interest in the upholding the rights of Black women.
I see your point.
However like an anonymous poster just said, Black men seem to only defend a certain type of BW. Eminem did this before, Black men do this all the time, nothing is said. And now one's fair skinned "Black Woman" is attacked and he falls back on race card. And turns the whole thing about the oppressive and stealing whitey.
Black men do this all the time, They reap from what the 'lighter is better' system has to offer then when they hit a snug they call on Blackness and appeal to oppressed Black sentiment to stand behind them. What you are observing is not black people being totally confused but rather black people seeing through opportunitist Black men that have gamed the racial card system for too long.
Why has nick been quiet all along when BW were being abused? WHy have those before him looked the other way. And we are supposed to come to his defense when he has done nothing to strengthen the position of the Black woman ?
As for Eminem, he got the attention he wanted and all those racially fatigued whites are going to buy his album.
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I TOTALLY AGREE with this poster! Think outside the freaking box and maybe you will find your "match".
Black women need to choose that which benefits them. If its race then they go for it. But like we have learnt supporting the Black Male's cause is not going to benefit the BW.
If they choose the women's cause then race will become an issue down the line. Black women need to have their own cause because their challenge is unique to only them. White women can't relate, Black men have no interest in the upholding the rights of Black women.You are absolutely correct. I think that out struggle is very unique because we have two oppressions. Being a woman and being Black. When Alice Walker wrote, "The Color Purple" alot of Black men protested that film and the book because it made Black men looks bad. They called her a sell-out to the community. I'm like but isn't it possible that a black woman could have faced oppresion from other black men? It is possible. It is possible that some black men feel that is necessary to feel like a man over a woman particualarly a black woman because of how white men mistreated them? The book definetly has a feminist theme. However, when Black women stand up for themsleves against Black men, we are sell-outs, but it's okay to disrespect us? wow. That's why I said its hard for some black women to choose because they don't want to be outcasted from the black community. So they choose just race even though being a woman is somethnig that affects them. You are right, black men can only understand us from being black. White woman can only understand because we are women. However, being black is harder. Being a woman is harder for them to understand.
Anonymous said:
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ut, here's my issue, i don't see why black men don't understand that when they allow other bm to disrespect us and call us hoes and they want to supersoak us, they're also telling the world that its okay to do that. Then when someone who isn't black (read Don Imus/ Eminem) joins in on the party some of them will get upset.---------
I guess some Black men who do defend black women on some black men disrespectiing their own women is perceived as a coward or a pussy. I just want my people to respect one another period.
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Anonymous said:
Excuse me, when Don Imus made those jokes we had two Sambo's joining in on the fun calling them ugly hoes too. (Stupid Wayan's Bro and D.L ass Hugely) Some black men really need to look in the mirror.Yeah I heard about that. I was not very happy with them agreeing with Imus. You know what's funny, i read the youtube comments and when some black women were saying that he was wrong for what he did, you know what the defense was? He is a comedian. I guess when Jamie made those jokes about Miley Cyrus, nobody strugged it off and said it was a joke or that he was a comedian. They raised hell.
That was a classic, BM disrespects a WW and hell breaks loose. BM disrespects the BW and its business as usual.
There are many attractive non white women, and there are some white men that once in a while feel attracted to them. Sometimes it is real sexual attraction and sometimes it is just temporary curiosity.
Anyway those are the very few exceptions.
And even among those exceptions it is usually not for serious long term intent.
It is less common than same sex attractions, maybe even less common than people (from all races) attracted to animals.
The common white woman and man are almost always looking for a partner that besides love and sex will be a good parent and give his/her kids good genes and good care.
Therefore the cases of white men looking for non white women are marginal.
Just think how many opportunities and how easy was it for powerful white man to have non white women in Africa, Asia and everywhere they had control for centuries.
And how many mixed cases there are? Not many, not enough to be noticed.
The non white woman for the white man is (even in those few cases) like an unhealthy candy, like a junk food one will take on the way but not as a permanent diet. It may fill a temporary need but it is not healthy for the long run.
Oh dear I hope you are only speaking for American whites. You haven't heard of the colored population in South Africa?
And what would you say for Latin America whose indegenous populations have dwindled to be replaced by a mix of people.
And how do you deal with the now confirmed fact that over 70% of African Americans have more European ancestry than Indian.
Still dreaming of a pure race eh? LOL!
You need to relocate because your fantasy doen's exist in America. Even you so called whites are tainted with Black and other blood. And its people usually most uncertain of their purity that obsess about it, "The Hitler complex" I call it. The least Aryan is the one that that pushes the standards, LOL!
Better make sure you've got nothing in your blood. Before you continue on your little campaign.
Granted the numbers are low with BW but how do you explain the high numbers of marriages between White men and Asian women?
I am guessing you define Asians as white.
Dude, you have been overtaken by events. Some by over half a century.
I'm looking at ten years of being with my husband. I think that is considered serious and long term, but that is just my opinion.
The common white woman and man are almost always looking for a partner that besides love and sex will be a good parent and give his/her kids good genes and good care.
Therefore the cases of white men looking for non white women are marginal.
I guess black women can't be good parents? Seriously, do you honestly think that? My sister in law is white and was on meth while pregnant with her 1st child and smoked throughout the whole entire pregnancy of her second. Her and my brother in law are always living with someone as they cannot afford to take care of their family. They can't make rent and their car is about to be repossessed, but they can make on over to Cancun for vacation. They are as white as the driven snow. Not to mention single white women are having babies too, and that is the population who makes up the MAJORITY of welfare cases.
Just think how many opportunities and how easy was it for powerful white man to have non white women in Africa, Asia and everywhere they had control for centuries.
They did, and they fathered children with them, and then many walked away, so again who makes a good parent?
The non white woman for the white man is (even in those few cases) like an unhealthy candy, like a junk food one will take on the way but not as a permanent diet. It may fill a temporary need but it is not healthy for the long run.
I will ask my husband when he plans to leave.
I would say that would've been my choice as well. =)
"But, what do you expect? The best way to defend black women is to stop being our main offenders."
Agreed. Its fine if you want to date outside, but please stop tarnishing our name to anyone who will listen. My black guy friend likes to joke around with people and call me an "angry black woman". Most of the time he's saying it to our white friends and it irks me...an honestly perpetuate a stereotype that is not indicative of who I am. I try to et him knoe that it is offensive to me, but he makes me seem like I cannot take a joke and thus being an angry black woman again...
See, I would conform to the stereotype and stop hanging around him. A friend respects your space and is sensitive to that which offends you. That person is a waste of your emotional space.
BW should stop feeling this loyal duty to BM. They are not looking out for you, why should you?
No you're not the only one girl!! I though Spock had blown Kirk STRAIGHT out "fine"ness department..the way he rocked those ears and still looked something hot sexy can get it from me on the kitchen counter anytime! LOL!!!