Siditty: Angry & Black Since 1976 - Latest Comments in http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

blaster — Wed, 08 Apr 2015 14:08:06 -0000

Exactly! Women who insist that they do not have a man because men are intimidated by them annoyed the hell out of me. No, you don't have a man sweetie because you are arrogant. Success tends to do that to people, men and women alike.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Kaye — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 19:17:41 -0000

I as a woman, don't think that is what he was trying to say it all. This is why I hate it when people don't use the quote in context or when they leave things out. HE says that You can have all that just don't shove it in the man's face all the time.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

RockNRollSista — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 23:53:00 -0000

The "men" steve harvey speaks of are insecure plain and simple. Any site that speaks highly og black women are fine by me.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

RockNRollSista — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 19:53:00 -0000

The "men" steve harvey speaks of are insecure plain and simple. Any site that speaks highly og black women are fine by me.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

laromana — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 21:56:00 -0000

Malacyne,
You are 100% correct in your assessment of the plight of the BW. I am grateful for the PRO-BW sites that help destroy LIES, MYTHS, and STEREOTYPES about BW. My hope is that as MORE people get to know who REAL BW are and rid themselves of any RACIST, ANTI-BW thinking in their minds/attitudes/actions, BW will begin to be seen/treated in a MORE positive way.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

laromana — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 17:56:00 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Anonymous — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:09:00 -0000

Being a black woman is a struggle: you struggle against the black community, you struggle against white people, you struggle against black men and you struggle with black women - all of whom try to tear you down. I should not have to struggle with other black women who's actions and imagery (Supahead, Youtube Booty poppers other forms of ghetto-buffoonery) is somehow seen as more authentically black than I am.
===============================

I HAVE FELT THIS WAY FOR THE LONGEST TIME.

SIMONE

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Malacyne — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:42:00 -0000

@ Siditty

Black women attacks are going to continue to go on probably beyond our lifetime. America is not the most racially supportive country in the world. Being black in America is a strife-ridden path. Having said that, what I am sick of are the women who have hi-jacked the image of black womanhood and live those sterotypes for all the world to see as the norm not the exception. They call themselves 'real black women' and anything else is less than or acting white. Stereotypes develop because there's a small truth that becomes exaggerated and distorted. Some people don't know the difference. Of all the stereotypes you listed, there are women out there that exist like that. Are there gold-diggers out there, yes. Are there ball-busting Sapphires out there that say 'I'm a strong black woman, I don't need a man', yes, there are. Some of them are my girlfriends and they boggle me with their illogic.

Being a black woman is a struggle: you struggle against the black community, you struggle against white people, you struggle against black men and you struggle with black women - all of whom try to tear you down. I should not have to struggle with other black women who's actions and imagery (Supahead, Youtube Booty poppers other forms of ghetto-buffoonery) is somehow seen as more authentically black than I am.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Anonymous — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:09:00 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Malacyne — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 12:42:00 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Grata — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:34:00 -0000

"I was a little disappointed that Oprah was giving this guy, this kind of credibility. I agree with what you say here, and have had similar thoughts".

I too was dissappointed by Oprah. I am beginning to question her judgement. Rumor is that she is trying to get him a Dr. Phil like show. So a Black woman is going to give a black man a platform to further insult us?

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Grata — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:20:00 -0000

"et's face it, if most of us are single, we can't be sitting around with hope a man with take care of us. It just doesn't happen like that for black women in general, at least not here in America."

It doesn't happen like that for Black women anywhere.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Moviegirl — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 13:30:00 -0000

I was thinking more about my earlier comment and with further reflection, I can honestly say that when you say or do things just to curry favor, you're engaging in a type of emotional manipulation which would most inevitably lead to emotional abuse.

In institutional racist terms, outcome is the only thing that matters; but in relationships, intent is just as important. I need to know what you're doing is genuine and not some game for you to get what you want.

There is something extremely creepy in running a cost/benefit analysis before you do or say things to your mate.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Grata — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 12:34:00 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Grata — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 12:20:00 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

SuperJV — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 11:53:00 -0000

Hi Siditty, my own personal life is crazy right now, but I still wanted to say something here. Yeah, I'd been thinking about this since Steve Harvey was on Oprah for a whole show, she liked him so much. I was a little disappointed that Oprah was giving this guy, this kind of credibility. I agree with what you say here, and have had similar thoughts.

I think that what is going on here is less racial per say than something that depends on very old clichés of what the "true nature" of men and women is supposed to be like. I will admit, it brings out my inner feminist a little too (she's still there sometimes :) ) because what the book is really saying is that we should accept these very old fashioned gender rules... And at it's root of Steve Harvey's "advice" , he is really blaming women. He talks about 'standards' and silly things like when women should give up 'the cookie', What he's really saying is "the problem these days is that women are sluts for the most part". And "women have the nerve to act strong and be independent, which is a huge turn off" It's all a bit of an eye-roll, it's all been said before. Some relationship book from the 50s would have the same basic concepts going on... there's really not a lot of content to what he's saying, nor originality. I hate the whole concept of relationships being formed out of strategy and games, sex should be used by women as a bargaining chip, I HATE all that stuff, most of the mentality of this book. I promise you it does not relate to ME, my experience, or my present life AT ALL.

Men and women are different, often, but I would suggest we... think like people and recognize we're both human beings, with thoughts, desires and vulnerabilities.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Moviegirl — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 09:30:00 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

SuperJV — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 07:53:00 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Moviegirl — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 16:03:00 -0000

to Anon,7:42 PM:

"and we definitely have emotional, mental, and physical needs we would like them to meet. But so do they. One of their needs is to feel like a man. If you are constantly saying you don't need a man to do anything for you, they think you don't. Except maybe for sex. So I say let him open your car door and use a hammer if he wants to ..."

I understand that everyone needs praise to feel more secure. However, it feels like you're staging a play when you do it not because you want them to do but because you're trying to inflate their egos. I want stuff coming out of my mouth not to be rehearsed in any way. It should be natural.

When I put together my dresser from Ikea, it took 8 hours. I did it alone not because I wanted to prove I could, it was because my best friend couldn't help me. And if I could have gotten the same person who carried it on the train for me to put it together for me while I slept, I would have.

Most things, I can do on my own; the fact is I'm really too lazy to do most things, including domestic things; however, if you're a tech person--and I purchase a new computer--I'm calling you to set it up not because I can't do it. I probably can, it will just take a couple more hours. If I call you, it's not about stroking your ego, it's because I want it done fast and right.

Don't tell me I look pretty or that I'm funny, etc. because you think it will curry favor, tell me because I look attractive or I impressed you in some way.

If the sentiment is phony then it will come off as such.

Hope this helps.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

Moviegirl — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 12:03:00 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

RiPPa — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 03:11:00 -0000

All of what you covered and touched on is valid. And to sum it up in short. All of it is a direct result of us living in a male dominated society. I hate to say it, but even with the advancement of women's causes - keeping in mind that there is still quite a way to go towards true equality - we live in a mostly patriarchal society be it the Black community or not. It's just that in the Black community the equality is startling as Black women are climbing those ladders rather quickly.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

ThickMadame — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 03:08:00 -0000

I just wanted to say that I think you might have misunderstood me when I said: "If he's being a pussy and he's ya man, who you really gonna be mad at???"
I am certainly not saying that if the man's a pussy it's the woman's fault that he is so....No, ma'am, that's completely HIS fault and his all by himself.
What I was saying was that, after a while, you know what kind of man you have...One who's going to "be down" for you and trying to do what's right (however you and he feel that is) or one that's just hanging on to you, with you knowing he ain't trying to do none of what you (and he) feels is right in the relationship.
If a woman has figured out what type of man she has, and he's just plain nowhere near what she feels like she wants, needs, and deserves, who she gonna be mad at if she never sees a reason to praise that man for being a man?
I say that in the context that a man is NOT a man just because he's got a grown up's age and dangles between the legs.....I say that in the context that a man is one who knows all of that that is of issue here in this blog, all of it: A man knows that just because his woman has her own, does her own, can do for herself, etc... doesn't mean that she don't need/want him. No, a MAN knows that what he brings to the table is wanted AND needed by the woman he's with. Other men who don't know that just fall into the category of "man" because that's what his physical age has determined him to be.
NOTHING that a MAN is is caused by a woman, EVERYTHING that a MAN is is because of his own doing.
I'm just saying that if your man is a MAN, and he's doing what men do, then what's wrong with giving him a bit of praise every now and again? Just to let him know that even though you coulda made it/did it by yourself, you still appreciate his being around to help you make it/do it with you.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

thelady — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 03:05:00 -0000

If I reject an average Joe who happens to be Black that I'm not into, I'm told "You just wanna date thugs." No, I'm just not into you. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if a thug-type accosts me on the street and I reject him, it's "You're a sellout." No, it's called having respect for myself to not lower my standards. It's like man, these men try to stick you into one box or another and what you want for yourself just doesn't matter. These stereotypes they have for us drive me insane.

THIS! there was some article in a DC area paper that profiles people on blind dates. Well a black woman rejected a "nice guy" and the black men reading the article on facebook were livid! They said "women only like thugs, blah blah this is why black women end up alone." Ok, just because a woman wasn't attracted to one particular guy doesn't mean she is only attracted to jerks or does not deserve happiness. The message seems to be that black women should be grateful for whatever attention they can get and settle asap or they deserve to die alone.

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

RiPPa — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 23:11:00 -0000

Re: http://siditty.blogspot.com/2009/04/does-steve-harvey-share-sentiments-of.html

ThickMadame — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 23:08:00 -0000