I'm sure it's happened, but I can't remember a specific incident where I was told I talked white.
I'm from the South and when I go home to visit and meet new people they always are shocked to find out I'm from there because I don't have a noticeable accent (friends say it comes out when I drink... lol).
Definitely have been ridiculed for liking "white" things, but I've found some of those same people were really intrigued by how I was ok with listening to Red Hot Chilli Peppers and then turning around and bumping T.I. in my car. As a community, I think black folks are xenophobic and sometimes jealousy comes out in the form of making folks feel like they're not a part of the group. Our community is big (too big) on inclusive and exclusive and we make each other fight too hard to prove we're "down" It's dumb.
Thanks for sharing, Siditty... :)
classical one
· 11 months ago
Ohhh boy.... look at that picture, major cuteness!
They made fun of me, told me I thought I was white, told me I talked like a white girl
I actually heard a girl in a chat room the other day say science was "white" because of so many theories came from European scientists. You think she stopped believing in gravity because Newton was white?
Siditty
· 11 months ago
I'm sure it's happened, but I can't remember a specific incident where I was told I talked white.
I'm from the South and when I go home to visit and meet new people they always are shocked to find out I'm from there because I don't have a noticeable accent (friends say it comes out when I drink... lol).
No one believes I am from Texas except when I start drinking. My drawl comes out and I start talking slower. I talk like I am on speed all the time.
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I actually heard a girl in a chat room the other day say science was "white" because of so many theories came from European scientists. You think she stopped believing in gravity because Newton was white?
My daddy being a scientist wouldn't let that fly in my house. He would tell me I could learn the African history and science, but I better know gravity exists. The white man's science paid our bills LOL
Beautifully.Conjured.Up
· 11 months ago
I have always been told I talk white (whatever that means)...also, I'm stuck up, prissy, etc. because I listened to "white music," watched "white television shows," and carried myself with high esteem. It never bothered me, because I had a strong family foundation that made sure to instill in me where I came from and where I could go in life...majority of my family members went to HBCUs, and were also involved in the Civil Rights movement, SNCC, etc. here in Atlanta, GA & Alamaba, so even though I was teased for my speech style (and other things), I never once felt I wasn't black or not part of the black community. I just looked at it as though my family placed education as a priority, and whoever didn't like it, well that's their problem.
I also think it depends on the type of people you're surrounded by. For instance, the black children that teased me for my speech, were also children whose background wasn't similar to mine; their family didn't care about education or the value of learning. On the other hand, when I was around my family members, or children in social clubs, activities, etc., it wasn't ever an issue. The black community as a whole can't be lumped up into one, for we're diverse as any other community.
thelady
· 11 months ago
If I am in a casual setting it is almost guaranteed that someone will say I sound white. Black, white, latino all think I sound white. Only my parents have never said that to me. Relatives, friends, strangers all feel the need to point it out to me. No such thing as an original thought in their minds. It makes a very negative impression on me and I would never date or befriend a person who said that the first time they met me. I was told by classmates that white milk what for white people and chocolate milk was for black people. I love chocolate and hot cocoa but I've never cared for chocolate milk. Most people are shocked to find out I have rhythm, I guess their low expectations work to my advantage cause I'm only an average dancer at best.
thelady
· 11 months ago
I grew up working class. In college even the middle class blacks thought I sounded white, black people who had white friends were looked down on.
brohammas
· 11 months ago
Very open of you to post this, especially the picture. Apparently your teeth were a little more shy and decided not to participate.
Interesting to see and learn more of what others think "is" black culture and the black experiance. I have heard people say Barack is not black, not because of his Mom, but because of where and how he grew up.
Going to Harvard does not make one any less black, nor does going to private school in Texas. On the same note going to a HBCU does not make one more black.
Does my lack of both vertical leap and dance prowess make me more white?
Emeritus
· 11 months ago
dang i had the same school uniform. lol.
Kat
· 11 months ago
You look sooooooooo cute in that pic!!!
Kristin
· 11 months ago
Siditty,I was usually the only black person in my classes as they were all honors or advanced placement and ran into some of the same problems. I am glad you remained true to yourself and I echo Kat you look cute in your pic.
Anonymous
· 11 months ago
that picture is adorable.
Anonymous
· 11 months ago
i've never had any trouble with bp telling me i "talk white," i came up in a white private school too, i was one of four blacks to graduate from my school. in my whole life only one black person has ever told me "i wanted to be white," and it was because i wanted to sit with my arab-american friend at lunch...?? but more often than not it was usually my white "friends," who told me i was a white girl in a black girls body, or "i was so white," which i always found offensive. just because i've read a book and have a decent level of intellect, doesn't mean i'm not black. i always found those comments highly offensive. i've always felt comfortabl around bp. actually bp would call me "the county kid," because of the way i talked, and they meant it as a compliment, not to be demeaning, so i guess i've been fortunate.
Mr. Noface
· 11 months ago
I've got the "talking white" thing throughout most of my life. It got to the point that I started changing the way I spoke depending on my audience. When meeting someone new I would often wait to see how they spoke before deciding whether to keep or drop my "ing's". It became a sort of survival mechanism for me that persists to this day (though I've tried harder to remain consistant in the way I talk since college).
Charlene
· 11 months ago
It always feels good when you come across people with a similar story to your own. Although many of the smaller details are different, the over all story is the same. I grew up in Canada (yes, there are black people in Canada too) and went to predominantly white public schools from the time I started kindergarten, all the way through college. I always ran into that same silly "you talk white" stuff. What does that mean? I still find it to be such an ignorant comment. I guess black people (especially darker skinned ones like myself) are not supposed to speak using proper English. Go figure. Funny enough, it was often white kids that thought I was stuck up in high school, but really I was just shy. What can you do? My girls, being both black and white will surely have problems fitting in, but I still have hope that they won't. Like another poster said, it's important to know who you are and hopefully we can really instill that in our children. Congrats btw.
American Black Chick in London
· 11 months ago
Nice post Siditty. Thanks for sharing with us! I can identify with the being told you sounded white thing. I had the same thing happen growing up...mainly from extended family members. My parents (especially my dad) were really big on education and proper grammar, so I didn't know any other way to talk (trust me, I tried). When I got older, I realised that the whole "sounding black"/"sounding white" thing was BS...somehow some members of the black community have bought in to a very specific, very limiting idea of what it means to be black.
Anonymous
· 11 months ago
"The African History and Science" Please explain to me what the hell the African History and science is. A little offensive, no?
Suesue
· 11 months ago
PLEASE REPLY:
Well I think I had a much more "sheltered" life that yours. I was exposed to much less racism and when I was I actually had (white) people back me up without me asking for their help !
U (all-comments) make growing up black in the US seem really challanging. But i'm sure it is to a certain extent.
And i've heard from lots of black people that France is VERY racist, which is why they moved over to the UK. Better job opportuinities. Not going to (always) be judged on the colour of their skin.
I've only had real black girlfriends (and guyfriends) while being at uni. And honestly, unless they're proper ghetto londoners(which is not always a bad thing) their just as "white" as me. But in Uni i suppose the majority of ppl u are surrounded by are open minded...
Okay questions:
:-) AWWWWWW! That little girl is soo cute !!!! Is that really you though?
Was your gay friend cute then? Like...Would you have?
Did you choose your friends based on the colour of their skin and what kind of music you liked because it was more...afrocentric ?
Inda Lauryn
· 11 months ago
First of all in relation to the picture... awwwww!
I can identify with so much of what you've been through. I come from a small southern town and in many cases found myself the only black person in the room because I've had the benefit of being in the "gifted" classes and other such events exclusive to most others. I've been called a white girl because of the way I talk though I must admit I've thrown oreo at an old friend who pissed me off. (I still don't feel bad about it because I eventually realized she wasn't a true friend.)
I was rather voluntarily sheltered because I don't really like people all that much. For some reason now, many of my closest friends or at least the ones I get along with best are Asian. Go figure.
I listen to all kinds of music and watch all kinds of films and read all kinds of books. I don't limit myself to just "black" subjects. Yet my entire family hates my natural hair, partly because I think it destroyed some illusion they may have had of who I was or supposed to be.
By the time I got to college, I had gotten to the point where I stopped giving a f*ck about what anyone else thought I should be. Fortunately, I've held on to that all these years. If people want to judge me based on how I look, talk, think, listen to, watch or read, then to hell with them. I don't need them. I'm happy being me. It's a full-time job.
Anonymous
· 11 months ago
Siditty,I was usually the only black person in my classes as they were all honors or advanced placement ---
Advanced placement/honors, huh? Yeah, it makes sense that you'd be the ONLY Black (as you made sure to point out) in those classes. And it's not even a little suspicous that you, a self-identified Black person, would phrase it in such a racist manner....Hmmm.
abagond
· 11 months ago
Wow, Siditty, thanks for the post! And that is a cute picture.
Abagond
· 11 months ago
"Talking white": if you grow up mainly with white people, then you will sound white. It is not so much about your grammar but about your accent. You can speak proper English and still sound black, like the Cosbys (except for Lisa Bonet, who does sound white). But sounding white does not make you any less black.
Anonymous
· 11 months ago
When you say you lived in an "ALL white" communty, or attended an "ALL white" school, you are actually including yourself as one of those whites. Obviously a Freudian slip as you also made negative assumptions about Blacks (notwithstanding the fact that you and your white-chasing parents are Black) based on the few you came across in the majority white environments your parents intentionally sought out for you.
Siditty
· 11 months ago
I also think it depends on the type of people you're surrounded by. For instance, the black children that teased me for my speech, were also children whose background wasn't similar to mine; their family didn't care about education or the value of learning.
See I don't think the kids that teased me were raised like me either.
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Relatives, friends, strangers all feel the need to point it out to me. No such thing as an original thought in their minds. It makes a very negative impression on me and I would never date or befriend a person who said that the first time they met me.
Yeah it is kind of frustrating to have people make assumptions about an accent or the way you speak, as if there is only one kind of accent for a black person to have.
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Very open of you to post this, especially the picture. Apparently your teeth were a little more shy and decided not to participate.
My teeth have since returned and are proudly displaying themselves. Plus I got like $10 bucks for those teeth, the missing teeth were for pure profit.
Interesting to see and learn more of what others think "is" black culture and the black experiance. I have heard people say Barack is not black, not because of his Mom, but because of where and how he grew up.
I have always found that strange, even though I didn't grow up in a predominantly black area, I find that my blackness was still relevant, even in an all white area. I don't think I ever grew up forgetting I was black.
Does my lack of both vertical leap and dance prowess make me more white?
Yes. j/k ---------------------
dang i had the same school uniform. lol
You should have seen the ones at the school I went to afterwards, pure tacky. I was tired of navy pants and skirts.
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Thanks Kat, Kristin, and Anon @ 5:47
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Kristin,
Siditty,I was usually the only black person in my classes as they were all honors or advanced placement and ran into some of the same problems. I am glad you remained true to yourself and I echo Kat you look cute in your pic.
I have to, it makes no sense for me to alter myself to appease others. I sound like a fool trying to talk "more black". My husband says I sound like a white girl trying to sound black and that I should stop.
Siditty
· 11 months ago
but more often than not it was usually my white "friends," who told me i was a white girl in a black girls body, or "i was so white," which i always found offensive.
One of the white girls at my school nicknamed me "White girl". I got the you're different than other blacks diatribe from many a white classmate.
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I've got the "talking white" thing throughout most of my life. It got to the point that I started changing the way I spoke depending on my audience. When meeting someone new I would often wait to see how they spoke before deciding whether to keep or drop my "ing's". It became a sort of survival mechanism for me that persists to this day (though I've tried harder to remain consistant in the way I talk since college).
My mother does that effortlessly. I sound a lot like my mom, but when she is around family, she can throw down country slang with a quickness. She is from the East Texas Piney Woods, and they sound downright scary, it ain't just black it is uber country black. I used to have a hard time understanding my grandfather when we would go down there because the "country talk" was so thick.
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. I always ran into that same silly "you talk white" stuff. What does that mean? I still find it to be such an ignorant comment. I guess black people (especially darker skinned ones like myself) are not supposed to speak using proper English.
It is confusing to people when you aren't the expectation.
Funny enough, it was often white kids that thought I was stuck up in high school, but really I was just shy.
I would get that from whites and blacks, and I was uber shy my first couple of years of high school,and only came out of my shell senior year, and barely then.
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I realised that the whole "sounding black"/"sounding white" thing was BS...somehow some members of the black community have bought in to a very specific, very limiting idea of what it means to be black
Yes and it is sad to me when we stereotype ourselves.
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"The African History and Science" Please explain to me what the hell the African History and science is. A little offensive, no?
Stuff we don't study in school, like the civilizations of Mauretania, Nubia/Kush, Numidia, Mali, Songhai, Ghana, Axum. Or learning about the Lebombo bone of swaziland (one of the oldest mathematical objects found). The concept of prime numbers and the Ishango bone. Or knowing about the base 20 concept coming from the Yoruba.
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:-) AWWWWWW! That little girl is soo cute !!!! Is that really you though? Was your gay friend cute then? Like...Would you have?
Yes it is me. My gay friend was cute I guess, but he was gay so he wasn't someone I thought about being with. We shared crushes together. He felt he got menstrual cramps monthly. It wasn't ever going to go there. He was allowed to sleep over at my house, my father was secure NOTHING was going on.
Did you choose your friends based on the colour of their skin and what kind of music you liked because it was more...afrocentric ?
I did choose friends based upon music, that was my thing, you couldn't listen to crappy music, but never skin color. I grew out of being a music snob though, thankfully if I had maintained that mindset, I wouldn't have married my husband :)
Siditty
· 11 months ago
Yet my entire family hates my natural hair, partly because I think it destroyed some illusion they may have had of who I was or supposed to be.
My parents have just gotten around to liking my natural hair. When I first went natural I had a cousin accuse me of wanting to be white for doing wash and gos.
By the time I got to college, I had gotten to the point where I stopped giving a f*ck about what anyone else thought I should be. Fortunately, I've held on to that all these years. If people want to judge me based on how I look, talk, think, listen to, watch or read, then to hell with them. I don't need them. I'm happy being me. It's a full-time job.
In total agreement. It is too time consuming to give a damn what others think.
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Advanced placement/honors, huh? Yeah, it makes sense that you'd be the ONLY Black (as you made sure to point out) in those classes. And it's not even a little suspicous that you, a self-identified Black person, would phrase it in such a racist manner....Hmmm.
What was racist about what she said? The sad truth is black children are usually denied entry into gifted and talented programs. It has in Dallas ISD been used recently as a way to segregate white students from black students, for the white students who parents could afford to put them in private school.
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Wow, Siditty, thanks for the post! And that is a cute picture.
Thanks abagond.
"Talking white": if you grow up mainly with white people, then you will sound white. It is not so much about your grammar but about your accent. You can speak proper English and still sound black, like the Cosbys (except for Lisa Bonet, who does sound white). But sounding white does not make you any less black.
That is how I feel about it as well. Growing up where I did, I never once forgot I was black, it was a constant reminder I was different than my white classmates.
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When you say you lived in an "ALL white" communty, or attended an "ALL white" school, you are actually including yourself as one of those whites.
No not really, I am still black, and as you can see in my pic, I am pretty black.
Obviously a Freudian slip as you also made negative assumptions about Blacks (notwithstanding the fact that you and your white-chasing parents are Black) based on the few you came across in the majority white environments your parents intentionally sought out for you.
I didn't make negative assumptions about blacks. I stated my experiences with black people growing up and I how I felt rejected by many. Obviously I don't feel that way now. If you read the post you would see that.
In terms of my parents, they weren't and aren't white chasing. My father went to an HBCU, my father did volunteer programs and mentoring programs in predominantly black areas, as well as at his alma mater. My mother is probably one of the most militant women I know. Not white chasing. Growing up in smaller country towns, your education choices are limited, they did what they could. We followed my father's paycheck, my dad was in agriculture, so we lived in places near agriculture, not the big city. I didn't live close to a big city until high school, unless you count Beaumont, TX as a big city. Should my father have quit his job and moved us to be "with our people" to keep you happy?
You were stretching and jumping to conclusions with that whole entire comment.
FunkyStarkitty50
· 11 months ago
I love that pic of you!!! I think that you will have a girl who will look just like you. I have a feeling, I could be wrong, but I have been right with my friends' babies and my own as well :-)
But yeah, I had family members tell me that I spoke "very proper" and that they could tell that I hung around a lot of White people. It used to hurt, but now I don't care. I like defying the stereotype and I want my sons to grow up and be individuals and not subscribe to the narrow impressions that some people may have about Biracial, Black or Multiracial people.
texasladybird
· 11 months ago
I ain't left a comment here in a minute. But I have been reading!
First: Congrats on the baby!! The world needs more angry, siditty babies.
Second:Thanks for sharing this. :)
texasladybird
· 11 months ago
@ classical one:
HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
It's been in my experience that when other black people call you stuck up and accuse you of talking white, it's almost as if they fear what's in front of them.
Kind of like a Klan member finding out his new boss is a Black man/woman; it does not compute.
Your refusal to fit into a stereotype causes them to display their ignorance and lash out.
Also, I had that same uniform too. Is that a Texas thing??
Kristin
· 11 months ago
Hey thanks Siditty for replying to the Anon I am just now getting around to it. What you said was so very true my first go round with advance placement classes came in the sixth grade when I was denied entry to the advanced placement jr. high because they had met there quota of black students. But I am sure anon doesn't understand that. Anywho keep doing you.
Anonymous
· 10 months ago
Hey thanks Siditty for replying to the Anon I am just now getting around to it. What you said was so very true my first go round with advance placement classes came in the sixth grade when I was denied entry to the advanced placement jr. high because they had met there quota of black students. But I am sure anon doesn't understand that. ---
Yeah, now that it's been explained, it makes sense. Too bad you weren't smart enough to see how your original comment could be construed in the way it was.
JacqueRoxx
· 10 months ago
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm so glad I found your blog! Well I'm in H.S. and ever since the 6th grade Ive been told that I act white. I used to get offended until I realized that thats such an ignorant comment.
One of my friends (who's black)recently told me that I act white because I "talk proper". She was basically saying that white people have a better vocabulary and a better grasp of the english language.
AND she said in North Carolina (where she's from) that I wouldnt fit in because I'm NOT black. She didnt just say that I don't act black. She said that I am NOT black.
Kristin
· 10 months ago
"Yeah, now that it's been explained, it makes sense. Too bad you weren't smart enough to see how your original comment could be construed in the way it was."
Anon you appear to be one of those people that look to take offense when there is never any to begin with. It appears you have issues with your own intelligence I suggest you handle that issue first.
graphixie
· 10 months ago
I too went to a predominantly white school, and when I was younger I heard variations of "oh you're nice for a black person," "you talk well for a black person," etc. I never really knew what to say to people when they thought they were giving me a compliment. I always wondered why they didn't realize that they basically just brought down an entire group of people.
Me talking with a flat midwestern accent doesn't make me white, it just means I'm from the midwest and therefore this is how I talk. Just like talking like 50 Cent wouldn't make Bill O'Reiley any more black.
SOILA.
· 10 months ago
I Looooooove that picture of you :)
Eni
· 10 months ago
Very cool to hear about someone my age growing up in a similar environment. My upper/middle class childhood town was a healthy mixture of many cultures, though predominately black and white. Religion was pretty much split even between Christianity and Judaism. I feel lucky to have grown up in a mini-quasi utopia of sorts. I was the "only" little black girl in my "gifted & talented" classes in elementary school, too, and was made fun of by some of the black students. I learned to get over it! It's not cool to be dumb, on purpose. LOL. Now many years removed from that town, I still get the teasing/comments of being a "white" black girl for the way I talk, the things I like, and the men I am attracted to. No less, from some of my closest black girlfriends, ha! And I have had to set a few good white friends straight on terming me as 'not black'. We make fun of each others differences but it's the similarities of who we are as people that makes us fiercely loyal friends. I, too, figured out as soon as you are confident and comfortable in the mantra of "do you", you'll be fine, and can have those conversations when you need to. Love your blog!
SuperJV
· 10 months ago
hey Siditty, I'm sorry I've been away from your blog for so long. I've really been busy in the 'real life' and been distracted in matters of the heart. Anyway, I'm glad to see your great blog is still very much alive and well and that you're... pregnant. Congratulations !
I assume the pic here really is you ? so cute !!!
SuperJV
· 10 months ago
commenting on actual post :)
when you describe things like the "you're not like other blacks" type comments or people (white people !) telling you you had to be more "black", I'm just stunned. It just can't believe things like that pass from their lips. Telling you N****r jokes ??I swear this is an American thing.... it's just incredible (and awful). Then the black kids calling you Oreo. eesh. This sort of overt racial socialization at ghettoization is just foreign to me. The closest I felt to feeling is when I lived in Orlando in the 90s.
what the f**k does talking white mean ?? that drives me crazy. yes I know what it means... speaking proper english. The very expression seems racist to me...
basically, in your upbringing, you were subjected to unfair racial stereotyping and insults from all sides.
I don't think you are at your core pessimistic though. I I would want to come here if that were the case...
Siditty
· 10 months ago
I love that pic of you!!! I think that you will have a girl who will look just like you. I have a feeling, I could be wrong, but I have been right with my friends' babies and my own as well :-)
Everyone says it will be a girl. Keeping fingers crossed so I can buy a bunch of pink to make a girly girl, even though if she ends up like me she will prefer Tonka to Barbie.
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::sucking teeth::
Where ya been Texasladybird? Why you ain't commenting no mo? j/k
First: Congrats on the baby!! The world needs more angry, siditty babies. Second:Thanks for sharing this. :)
Thank you, I plan on making some angry, siditty babies, hopefully they will be well adjusted unlike their momma.
Also, I had that same uniform too. Is that a Texas thing??
I think it is global. That damn uniform everyone had. You should have seen the corresponding pants I had the option of wearing if I didn't want to wear my jumper. The same sad plaid.
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Jacqueroxx,
Just hang in there, it gets better, you will find people of all races who get you, and who know better than to stereotype you.
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Me talking with a flat midwestern accent doesn't make me white, it just means I'm from the midwest and therefore this is how I talk. Just like talking like 50 Cent wouldn't make Bill O'Reiley any more black.
LOL at Bill O'Reilly talking like 50 cent. The imagery is hilarious :)
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Thank you Soila, as brohammas as pointed out I was slightly toothless, thankfully I have regained all my teeth and so my smile is a little more filled out.
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I, too, figured out as soon as you are confident and comfortable in the mantra of "do you", you'll be fine, and can have those conversations when you need to. Love your blog!
Thanks Eni, and that is exactly what you have to do. You can't alter yourself to make others happy.
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I've really been busy in the 'real life' and been distracted in matters of the heart. Anyway, I'm glad to see your great blog is still very much alive and well and that you're... pregnant. Congratulations !
Yeah that pregnancy thing is still tripping me out as well.
You didn't tell anybody you went out and got yourself a hottie :) Man I told these girls to go after you, but now they missed their chance.
basically, in your upbringing, you were subjected to unfair racial stereotyping and insults from all sides. I don't think you are at your core pessimistic though. I I would want to come here if that were the case...
Thank you for thinking I am not a complete pessimist, and I still have a glimmer of hope somewhere deep down inside :)
Yeah I got it from all sides, making me weary of all people. I think that is why I am so cautious of people and expect them to talk crazy to me all the time.
MrsRony
· 10 months ago
Wow...this could of been my life story for the most part. Except in Jr. High those black girls that wanted to beat me up gave up after a while and decided to give me black lessons and made me listen to El DeBarge and the Sugar Hill gang. I tried really hard. I got a Jerri curl and everything but I couldn't get over my love of Def Leppard and the hazel eyed 8th grader Adam Brumart. They gave up and declared that I would never be black. I think I gave up too. My polar bear says he is more black than me because he really did grow up in the "hood".
I too am more militant the older and grumpier I get. LOL.
All Comments
I'm from the South and when I go home to visit and meet new people they always are shocked to find out I'm from there because I don't have a noticeable accent (friends say it comes out when I drink... lol).
Definitely have been ridiculed for liking "white" things, but I've found some of those same people were really intrigued by how I was ok with listening to Red Hot Chilli Peppers and then turning around and bumping T.I. in my car. As a community, I think black folks are xenophobic and sometimes jealousy comes out in the form of making folks feel like they're not a part of the group. Our community is big (too big) on inclusive and exclusive and we make each other fight too hard to prove we're "down" It's dumb.
Thanks for sharing, Siditty... :)
They made fun of me, told me I thought I was white, told me I talked like a white girl
I actually heard a girl in a chat room the other day say science was "white" because of so many theories came from European scientists. You think she stopped believing in gravity because Newton was white?
I'm from the South and when I go home to visit and meet new people they always are shocked to find out I'm from there because I don't have a noticeable accent (friends say it comes out when I drink... lol).
No one believes I am from Texas except when I start drinking. My drawl comes out and I start talking slower. I talk like I am on speed all the time.
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I actually heard a girl in a chat room the other day say science was "white" because of so many theories came from European scientists. You think she stopped believing in gravity because Newton was white?
My daddy being a scientist wouldn't let that fly in my house. He would tell me I could learn the African history and science, but I better know gravity exists. The white man's science paid our bills LOL
I also think it depends on the type of people you're surrounded by. For instance, the black children that teased me for my speech, were also children whose background wasn't similar to mine; their family didn't care about education or the value of learning. On the other hand, when I was around my family members, or children in social clubs, activities, etc., it wasn't ever an issue. The black community as a whole can't be lumped up into one, for we're diverse as any other community.
Interesting to see and learn more of what others think "is" black culture and the black experiance.
I have heard people say Barack is not black, not because of his Mom, but because of where and how he grew up.
Going to Harvard does not make one any less black, nor does going to private school in Texas. On the same note going to a HBCU does not make one more black.
Does my lack of both vertical leap and dance prowess make me more white?
Please explain to me what the hell the African History and science is. A little offensive, no?
Well I think I had a much more "sheltered" life that yours. I was exposed to much less racism and when I was I actually had (white) people back me up without me asking for their help !
U (all-comments) make growing up black in the US seem really challanging. But i'm sure it is to a certain extent.
And i've heard from lots of black people that France is VERY racist, which is why they moved over to the UK. Better job opportuinities. Not going to (always) be judged on the colour of their skin.
I've only had real black girlfriends (and guyfriends) while being at uni. And honestly, unless they're proper ghetto londoners(which is not always a bad thing) their just as "white" as me. But in Uni i suppose the majority of ppl u are surrounded by are open minded...
Okay questions:
:-) AWWWWWW! That little girl is soo cute !!!! Is that really you though?
Was your gay friend cute then? Like...Would you have?
Did you choose your friends based on the colour of their skin and what kind of music you liked because it was more...afrocentric ?
I can identify with so much of what you've been through. I come from a small southern town and in many cases found myself the only black person in the room because I've had the benefit of being in the "gifted" classes and other such events exclusive to most others. I've been called a white girl because of the way I talk though I must admit I've thrown oreo at an old friend who pissed me off. (I still don't feel bad about it because I eventually realized she wasn't a true friend.)
I was rather voluntarily sheltered because I don't really like people all that much. For some reason now, many of my closest friends or at least the ones I get along with best are Asian. Go figure.
I listen to all kinds of music and watch all kinds of films and read all kinds of books. I don't limit myself to just "black" subjects. Yet my entire family hates my natural hair, partly because I think it destroyed some illusion they may have had of who I was or supposed to be.
By the time I got to college, I had gotten to the point where I stopped giving a f*ck about what anyone else thought I should be. Fortunately, I've held on to that all these years. If people want to judge me based on how I look, talk, think, listen to, watch or read, then to hell with them. I don't need them. I'm happy being me. It's a full-time job.
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Advanced placement/honors, huh? Yeah, it makes sense that you'd be the ONLY Black (as you made sure to point out) in those classes. And it's not even a little suspicous that you, a self-identified Black person, would phrase it in such a racist manner....Hmmm.
See I don't think the kids that teased me were raised like me either.
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Relatives, friends, strangers all feel the need to point it out to me. No such thing as an original thought in their minds. It makes a very negative impression on me and I would never date or befriend a person who said that the first time they met me.
Yeah it is kind of frustrating to have people make assumptions about an accent or the way you speak, as if there is only one kind of accent for a black person to have.
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Very open of you to post this, especially the picture. Apparently your teeth were a little more shy and decided not to participate.
My teeth have since returned and are proudly displaying themselves. Plus I got like $10 bucks for those teeth, the missing teeth were for pure profit.
Interesting to see and learn more of what others think "is" black culture and the black experiance. I have heard people say Barack is not black, not because of his Mom, but because of where and how he grew up.
I have always found that strange, even though I didn't grow up in a predominantly black area, I find that my blackness was still relevant, even in an all white area. I don't think I ever grew up forgetting I was black.
Does my lack of both vertical leap and dance prowess make me more white?
Yes. j/k
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dang i had the same school uniform. lol
You should have seen the ones at the school I went to afterwards, pure tacky. I was tired of navy pants and skirts.
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Thanks Kat, Kristin, and Anon @ 5:47
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Kristin,
Siditty,I was usually the only black person in my classes as they were all honors or advanced placement and ran into some of the same problems. I am glad you remained true to yourself and I echo Kat you look cute in your pic.
I have to, it makes no sense for me to alter myself to appease others. I sound like a fool trying to talk "more black". My husband says I sound like a white girl trying to sound black and that I should stop.
One of the white girls at my school nicknamed me "White girl". I got the you're different than other blacks diatribe from many a white classmate.
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I've got the "talking white" thing throughout most of my life. It got to the point that I started changing the way I spoke depending on my audience. When meeting someone new I would often wait to see how they spoke before deciding whether to keep or drop my "ing's". It became a sort of survival mechanism for me that persists to this day (though I've tried harder to remain consistant in the way I talk since college).
My mother does that effortlessly. I sound a lot like my mom, but when she is around family, she can throw down country slang with a quickness. She is from the East Texas Piney Woods, and they sound downright scary, it ain't just black it is uber country black. I used to have a hard time understanding my grandfather when we would go down there because the "country talk" was so thick.
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. I always ran into that same silly "you talk white" stuff. What does that mean? I still find it to be such an ignorant comment. I guess black people (especially darker skinned ones like myself) are not supposed to speak using proper English.
It is confusing to people when you aren't the expectation.
Funny enough, it was often white kids that thought I was stuck up in high school, but really I was just shy.
I would get that from whites and blacks, and I was uber shy my first couple of years of high school,and only came out of my shell senior year, and barely then.
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I realised that the whole "sounding black"/"sounding white" thing was BS...somehow some members of the black community have bought in to a very specific, very limiting idea of what it means to be black
Yes and it is sad to me when we stereotype ourselves.
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"The African History and Science" Please explain to me what the hell the African History and science is. A little offensive, no?
Stuff we don't study in school, like the civilizations of Mauretania, Nubia/Kush, Numidia, Mali, Songhai, Ghana, Axum. Or learning about the Lebombo bone of swaziland (one of the oldest mathematical objects found). The concept of prime numbers and the Ishango bone. Or knowing about the base 20 concept coming from the Yoruba.
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:-) AWWWWWW! That little girl is soo cute !!!! Is that really you though? Was your gay friend cute then? Like...Would you have?
Yes it is me. My gay friend was cute I guess, but he was gay so he wasn't someone I thought about being with. We shared crushes together. He felt he got menstrual cramps monthly. It wasn't ever going to go there. He was allowed to sleep over at my house, my father was secure NOTHING was going on.
Did you choose your friends based on the colour of their skin and what kind of music you liked because it was more...afrocentric ?
I did choose friends based upon music, that was my thing, you couldn't listen to crappy music, but never skin color. I grew out of being a music snob though, thankfully if I had maintained that mindset, I wouldn't have married my husband :)
My parents have just gotten around to liking my natural hair. When I first went natural I had a cousin accuse me of wanting to be white for doing wash and gos.
By the time I got to college, I had gotten to the point where I stopped giving a f*ck about what anyone else thought I should be. Fortunately, I've held on to that all these years. If people want to judge me based on how I look, talk, think, listen to, watch or read, then to hell with them. I don't need them. I'm happy being me. It's a full-time job.
In total agreement. It is too time consuming to give a damn what others think.
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Advanced placement/honors, huh? Yeah, it makes sense that you'd be the ONLY Black (as you made sure to point out) in those classes. And it's not even a little suspicous that you, a self-identified Black person, would phrase it in such a racist manner....Hmmm.
What was racist about what she said? The sad truth is black children are usually denied entry into gifted and talented programs. It has in Dallas ISD been used recently as a way to segregate white students from black students, for the white students who parents could afford to put them in private school.
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Wow, Siditty, thanks for the post! And that is a cute picture.
Thanks abagond.
"Talking white": if you grow up mainly with white people, then you will sound white. It is not so much about your grammar but about your accent. You can speak proper English and still sound black, like the Cosbys (except for Lisa Bonet, who does sound white). But sounding white does not make you any less black.
That is how I feel about it as well. Growing up where I did, I never once forgot I was black, it was a constant reminder I was different than my white classmates.
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When you say you lived in an "ALL white" communty, or attended an "ALL white" school, you are actually including yourself as one of those whites.
No not really, I am still black, and as you can see in my pic, I am pretty black.
Obviously a Freudian slip as you also made negative assumptions about Blacks (notwithstanding the fact that you and your white-chasing parents are Black) based on the few you came across in the majority white environments your parents intentionally sought out for you.
I didn't make negative assumptions about blacks. I stated my experiences with black people growing up and I how I felt rejected by many. Obviously I don't feel that way now. If you read the post you would see that.
In terms of my parents, they weren't and aren't white chasing. My father went to an HBCU, my father did volunteer programs and mentoring programs in predominantly black areas, as well as at his alma mater. My mother is probably one of the most militant women I know. Not white chasing. Growing up in smaller country towns, your education choices are limited, they did what they could. We followed my father's paycheck, my dad was in agriculture, so we lived in places near agriculture, not the big city. I didn't live close to a big city until high school, unless you count Beaumont, TX as a big city. Should my father have quit his job and moved us to be "with our people" to keep you happy?
You were stretching and jumping to conclusions with that whole entire comment.
But yeah, I had family members tell me that I spoke "very proper" and that they could tell that I hung around a lot of White people. It used to hurt, but now I don't care. I like defying the stereotype and I want my sons to grow up and be individuals and not subscribe to the narrow impressions that some people may have about Biracial, Black or Multiracial people.
First: Congrats on the baby!! The world needs more angry, siditty babies.
Second:Thanks for sharing this. :)
HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
It's been in my experience that when other black people call you stuck up and accuse you of talking white, it's almost as if they fear what's in front of them.
Kind of like a Klan member finding out his new boss is a Black man/woman; it does not compute.
Your refusal to fit into a stereotype causes them to display their ignorance and lash out.
Also, I had that same uniform too. Is that a Texas thing??
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Yeah, now that it's been explained, it makes sense. Too bad you weren't smart enough to see how your original comment could be construed in the way it was.
I'm so glad I found your blog! Well I'm in H.S. and ever since the 6th grade Ive been told that I act white. I used to get offended until I realized that thats such an ignorant comment.
One of my friends (who's black)recently told me that I act white because I "talk proper". She was basically saying that white people have a better vocabulary and a better grasp of the english language.
AND she said in North Carolina (where she's from) that I wouldnt fit in because I'm NOT black. She didnt just say that I don't act black. She said that I am NOT black.
Anon you appear to be one of those people that look to take offense when there is never any to begin with. It appears you have issues with your own intelligence I suggest you handle that issue first.
Me talking with a flat midwestern accent doesn't make me white, it just means I'm from the midwest and therefore this is how I talk. Just like talking like 50 Cent wouldn't make Bill O'Reiley any more black.
I assume the pic here really is you ? so cute !!!
when you describe things like the "you're not like other blacks" type comments or people (white people !) telling you you had to be more "black", I'm just stunned. It just can't believe things like that pass from their lips. Telling you N****r jokes ??I swear this is an American thing.... it's just incredible (and awful). Then the black kids calling you Oreo. eesh. This sort of overt racial socialization at ghettoization is just foreign to me. The closest I felt to feeling is when I lived in Orlando in the 90s.
what the f**k does talking white mean ?? that drives me crazy. yes I know what it means... speaking proper english. The very expression seems racist to me...
basically, in your upbringing, you were subjected to unfair racial stereotyping and insults from all sides.
I don't think you are at your core pessimistic though. I I would want to come here if that were the case...
Everyone says it will be a girl. Keeping fingers crossed so I can buy a bunch of pink to make a girly girl, even though if she ends up like me she will prefer Tonka to Barbie.
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::sucking teeth::
Where ya been Texasladybird? Why you ain't commenting no mo? j/k
First: Congrats on the baby!! The world needs more angry, siditty babies. Second:Thanks for sharing this. :)
Thank you, I plan on making some angry, siditty babies, hopefully they will be well adjusted unlike their momma.
Also, I had that same uniform too. Is that a Texas thing??
I think it is global. That damn uniform everyone had. You should have seen the corresponding pants I had the option of wearing if I didn't want to wear my jumper. The same sad plaid.
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Jacqueroxx,
Just hang in there, it gets better, you will find people of all races who get you, and who know better than to stereotype you.
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Me talking with a flat midwestern accent doesn't make me white, it just means I'm from the midwest and therefore this is how I talk. Just like talking like 50 Cent wouldn't make Bill O'Reiley any more black.
LOL at Bill O'Reilly talking like 50 cent. The imagery is hilarious :)
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Thank you Soila, as brohammas as pointed out I was slightly toothless, thankfully I have regained all my teeth and so my smile is a little more filled out.
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I, too, figured out as soon as you are confident and comfortable in the mantra of "do you", you'll be fine, and can have those conversations when you need to. Love your blog!
Thanks Eni, and that is exactly what you have to do. You can't alter yourself to make others happy.
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I've really been busy in the 'real life' and been distracted in matters of the heart. Anyway, I'm glad to see your great blog is still very much alive and well and that you're... pregnant. Congratulations !
Yeah that pregnancy thing is still tripping me out as well.
You didn't tell anybody you went out and got yourself a hottie :) Man I told these girls to go after you, but now they missed their chance.
basically, in your upbringing, you were subjected to unfair racial stereotyping and insults from all sides. I don't think you are at your core pessimistic though. I I would want to come here if that were the case...
Thank you for thinking I am not a complete pessimist, and I still have a glimmer of hope somewhere deep down inside :)
Yeah I got it from all sides, making me weary of all people. I think that is why I am so cautious of people and expect them to talk crazy to me all the time.
I too am more militant the older and grumpier I get. LOL.