DISQUS

classical one · 1 year ago

Okay, so there is a flip side to this coin. Having myself gone after a fair number of black women, I can tell you there are allot of black women who are not willing to give a white guy a shot, combine that with the fact that black women are a small percentage of women in this country and what do you have?

Siditty · 1 year ago

I understand that there is a segment of the black woman population that seems to avoid white men, but in the IR blogsphere it seems that black women overwhelmingly express an interest, where as white guys tend to be a bit silent (present company excluded of course).

I do also think the tide is changing, and black women are expanding their options, probably even more so than white men.

I also think that even though there is a small percentage of black women vs. white men in this country, there is even a smaller percentage of asian women in this country, and I seem to have no problems finding white men/asian women relationships, no matter what part of the country I go to. Even with the small percentage of asian women in this country, white men are willing and able to obtain mail order brides to get an asian woman. Do I think white men should get mail order black women brides, no, but it seems that white men have made it known they are open to dating asian women, and asian women are showing they are willing to date white men, and if we look at numbers, asian women/white men pairings should be much more rare than black women/white men pairings.

Lola · 1 year ago

As a black woman, I have dated white guys who only wanted to know what I was like in bed and white guys who wanted serious relationships. It really depends on the guy.

What I find more common nowadays are younger white guys (20-25) who are willing to be in a serious relationship. The older white guys I date are just looking for sex or something very casual.

Siditty, did your husband immediately, meaning after a few dates, want things between you two to become more serious or did your relationship over time evolve into something serious?

Siditty · 1 year ago

What I find more common nowadays are younger white guys (20-25) who are willing to be in a serious relationship. The older white guys I date are just looking for sex or something very casual.

Siditty, did your husband immediately, meaning after a few dates, want things between you two to become more serious or did your relationship over time evolve into something serious?

Maybe because I am older, I remember the old days when guys were just looking for sex :)

I don't know if guys my age for the most part are willing and open to a serious relationship with black women. I am 32.

In terms of my husband, we were friends before we started dating. We moved quickly once we decided to date. We were serious by date three :)

laromana · 1 year ago

Lola,
You are on point when you point out that most younger WM (20-34 from what I've observed) tend to be more open to a serious relationship with a BW while most older WM(35+ from my experience) are more interested in using BW for sex. I believe that most older WM still have strong racist tendencies/attitudes when it comes to relationships with BW while the younger WM are more evolved when it comes to relating to BW in a non-racist manner. That's why I, personally, prefer age gap IRR's and feel this is an excellent option for BW (eg. Tina Turner's successful 23 year IRR with her German partner who is 17 yr. younger).

tigasinamon · 1 year ago

What I find more common nowadays are younger white guys (20-25) who are willing to be in a serious relationship. The older white guys I date are just looking for sex or something very casual.

LOL, I thought I was the only one who noticed this. I swear, I tend to get approached by only the younger guys. I'm a couple of years older than you Siditty, but I can pull in a 20 y/o and I've been talking to a 27 y/o for about a year now. As for my being a BW, much less a mother, I don't think they care one way or the other.

Then I realized, I have never dated a WM in my peer group! I seriously don't think when I start dating again it will be with a man my age.

Good luck with this poll. I'm interested to seeing the responses.

In lieu of C-1's response, I wonder how many WM/non-black men are there, who had a pref/attraction to women of color, but were unable to act on it because they never were given the opportunity? If they settled for someone that was available to them, would that be valid or would it be just them giving up too soon?

Anonymous · 1 year ago

I would think that IR dating websites and the internet would be an equalizer regarding black women and white men. You go to these sites and its mostly black women. If white men were as serious about relationships as they claimed, wouldnt these sites be about 50/50 wm and bw?? Also just because a wm is on an IR dating site doesnt mean he wants a serious relationship. Siddity you nailed it when you said Asian women are even more scarce than black women but white men can always find them for marriage. Classical One has been the only white male who consistently responds. White men in general need to put up or shut up. If they want bw to take them seriously they need to start acting interested.

Suesue · 1 year ago

I know i'm not a man but here's my opinion anyway.

In my experience, of 20 years on this Earth and having dated a grand total of 0 people... I find the majority of my black guy friends tend to date WW. I also find that the minority of BM that do date BW tend to date a particular type of BW...that look like WM. And WM who do date BW tend to date this particular type of BW too. Does that make sense? This opinion is drawn from observations. I'm not making it up, i promise :-)!!!!

Anyway, I've decided i'm going to get married to a Korean...(I'm going thru a phase, last year it was an Indian!!!)Unfortunately usually all my Indian or Asian friends either want to go out with White peopole or people within their race. :-P Oh well...

212542 · 1 year ago

I think it's just these blogs that you don't find many Wm on. These blogs are aimed more towards Bw concerns with IRR dating/marriage.
Maybe if it was a blog targeted towards Wm feelings with IRR then you will probably see a lot more responses from them.
Yes they are on the Internet talking about this kind stuff (contrary to what some have said in the past about men not sitting around discussing relationships).
There are plenty of sites targeted to men discussing these types of things.
There are also IRR forums not dating sites but actual boards where Bw/Wm IRR is discussed. And there are Wm that are on those sites.

Siditty · 1 year ago

And WM who do date BW tend to date this particular type of BW too. Does that make sense?

What type of bw do WM tend to date do you think?

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I think it's just these blogs that you don't find many Wm on. These blogs are aimed more towards Bw concerns with IRR dating/marriage.

Very true, but in regards to wm talking about IR, it is usually in a sexual manner and a bit disheartening, but hey guys usually are focused on the more sexual aspects of things anyway, and relationship talk for guys is a bit boring LOL

classical one · 1 year ago

I also think that even though there is a small percentage of black women vs. white men in this country, there is even a smaller percentage of asian women in this country, and I seem to have no problems finding white men/asian women relationships, no matter what part of the country I go to. Even with the small percentage of asian women in this country, white men are willing and able to obtain mail order brides to get an asian woman.



It's rare to find Asian women who straight up won't date a white guy, in fact many seem to outright prefer it. What makes it easier for Asian women and white men is the lack of a terrible history of race relations. All the bad blood between the black and white community has a profound effect on an IR dating between black women and white men and it mostly revolves around white men being labeled the boogey man, which is still in force and will remain in force. This does not exist in any other IR dating situation like it does in bw and wm.

My opinion is the black community leadership has a vested interest in seeing black women stay put and the continued demonization of white men, it's a good political out for them. Same thing goes for multiracial folks, black leadership will do everything in their power to make sure one drop continues.

Despite the election of Obama, the old guard will try and do everything to keep the status quo of "white men as the ultimate enemy" and I'm talking about people like Rev. Wright, Louis Farrakhan, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton. Why? Because they have a job at stake.

Beautifully.Conjured.Up · 1 year ago

I just wanted to speak about the "white male intention" caution flag.

I find this to be very true, especially when I'm talking to my friends about IR dating. Personally, I won't date a WM who has never dated BW...I'm just picky like that. To my surprise, many of them want to date IR, but are afraid to due to them thinking WM only have a sexual objective. Luckily, for me, most of the WM that I know date black women exclusively and want to have serious relationships...even marriage (some are on the verge of that big step).

Just like anyone else, I don't think it's fair to box WM into a category of whether or not they want serious relationships...they vary just like other people.

Siditty · 1 year ago

It's rare to find Asian women who straight up won't date a white guy, in fact many seem to outright prefer it. What makes it easier for Asian women and white men is the lack of a terrible history of race relations.

Asian American history doesn't have slavery, but it does have a history. Maybe Asians are more forgiving or feel their treatment wasn't severe? Maybe white people find them to be more palatable? I do find it strange that asians tend to be very eager to date exclusively outside their race overwhelmingly compared to other races, but just white people, black people are still seen as taboo in regards to dating.

You are right the "black community leadership" does have a vested interest in seeing black women stay put and white men being the "boogey man", but that leadership has lost credibility over the years and no one is really listening to Jesse and Al anymore, except white people who still think they are the "leaders", even though I don't recall the black people vote that elected them "leaders". Most black people I know want Jesse and Al to sit down some where.

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Just like anyone else, I don't think it's fair to box WM into a category of whether or not they want serious relationships...they vary just like other people.

I pose the question because white men still get married way more than black men, but yet they still don't seem to be marrying black women in the same numbers they do other races of women, and I don't think it is a matter of the number of black women refusing to date black women, but rather white men simply not approaching black women at all, and overlooking them for the anything but black women.

Anonymous · 1 year ago

As a bw I have never had a problem dating wm once I was ready to date. In high school things were not so great on that front, but I wasn't really into dating much then so it was not so bad. I think that peer pressure had a lot to do with a lack of dates rather than a lack of interest by the wb (looking back on things). I am a typical looking bw in that I am dark skinned and do not have 'European features'. I think that the media want bw to feel that if you don't look like Beyonce no wm will be attracted to you...hell they want us to believe that if you don't look like Beyonce or Halle NO man will be attracted to you. Well I have found that this is typically true of bm and not wm. I have found that to wm black is black. If they think that you are cute the color of your skin doesn't much phase them. When I was dating I ALWAYS got asked out or to dance etc by wm and not bm. That was just fine for men. My friends and I waould laugh so much at that. There are many websites that have picures of IR with bw partners and the women coem in ALL shapes, sizes and colors. Don't believe the lie that only one type of bw is considered beautiful by wm. Look at Alek, the supermodel. Do you REALLY think that black guys would think that she is beautiful? Her boyfriend is white and I sure that she didn't get many offers from bm because we all know why. My husband (who is white) thinks that she's the cat's meow and I am not nearly as dark as she is. He also thinks that beyonce and halle are beautiful. He sees lots of different black girls as pretty. My husband dated one other black girl before me for a few months, but he primarily dated ww. I wasn't into wm who only dated bw. I can compete with ANY woman's beauty and if a guy can't see that then it's his loss.

Siditty · 1 year ago

As a bw I have never had a problem dating wm once I was ready to date. In high school things were not so great on that front, but I wasn't really into dating much then so it was not so bad. I think that peer pressure had a lot to do with a lack of dates rather than a lack of interest by the wb (looking back on things). I am a typical looking bw in that I am dark skinned and do not have 'European features'. I think that the media want bw to feel that if you don't look like Beyonce no wm will be attracted to you...hell they want us to believe that if you don't look like Beyonce or Halle NO man will be attracted to you. Well I have found that this is typically true of bm and not wm. I have found that to wm black is black. If they think that you are cute the color of your skin doesn't much phase them.

Your experience is vastly different from mine. Maybe I am unattractive and no one wants me, but for the most part I had no problems with guys hitting on me, but actually asking me out on a date that didn't involve going to their bedroom, not too often. I knew some wm, like some bm who if they dared to date bw, would only date lighter skinned black women. Before Beyonce, they were willing to cross the racial line with Vanessa Williams, but I never heard a bunch of white guys talking about how hot Alek Wek is, I still don't and I am around a lot of white guys.

Maybe my dating experiences, which took place before 1999 would be different if I were dating now. I do remember once a guy hitting on me at the bookstore and he did so by looking at a copy of Essence with Missy Elliot on the cover by saying how pretty she was, and how he thought black girls were hot. He asked for my phone number, but my then fiance was there, and I didn't think he would have appreciated it.

classical one · 1 year ago

Asian American history doesn't have slavery, but it does have a history. Maybe Asians are more forgiving or feel their treatment wasn't severe? Maybe white people find them to be more palatable?

I'm aware of that history as well and that is a good question. My guess is, that history is mostly forgiven apparently. Of course, many of the Asian women I've known are from Asia and immigrated here.

Another overlooked issue is the social distance between wm and be. Most white guys don't have black women in their social or professional circle, or so it seems. Black men move in different social groups but it seems less so for black women. The black women friends I have I went out of my way to meet, some guys won't do that.

212542 · 1 year ago

"I do find it strange that asians tend to be very eager to date exclusively outside their race..."


Only Asian women are like that. Most Asian men like to stick with their own.


"...but yet they still don't seem to be marrying black women in the same numbers they do other races of women"

I'll stand corrected if I'm wrong but I don't think Wm are marrying say Hw in high numbers. I believe that number is lower then Bw/Wm marriages.
Where I live I hardly see any Wm/Hw together if at all.
Outside of White women, white men marry Asian women followed by black women followed by Hispanic I believe.

Siditty · 1 year ago

I'll stand corrected if I'm wrong but I don't think Wm are marrying say Hw in high numbers. I believe that number is lower then Bw/Wm marriages.
Where I live I hardly see any Wm/Hw together if at all.

My view could be skewed, I live in Texas, which was once part of Mexico, but hw/wm and hm/ww marriage is very common here. No one blinks an eye to it.

Suesue · 1 year ago

What type of bw do WM tend to date do you think?
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None that look like me :-(
To be honest i think that applies to BM more than WM...i agree with ANONYMOUS LONG COMMENT NUMBER 2.

Suesue · 1 year ago

What type of bw do WM tend to date do you think?
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To actually answer the question.:-)When i said, not girls like me... All the black girls I KNOW HERE who's bf's are white, have naturally long wavy hair or wear weaves...Even my big brother told me that the majority of guys out there would not approach me if i wore an afro. :-D ah well ah well

Suesue · 1 year ago

This is how i view Texan men....

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=GAv8hI4QIrc

Please tell me it's true :-)!!!!

Anonymous · 1 year ago

What if you never dated a woman before? I'm definitely not gay either. At 22, I feel left behind truthfully. I really never saw a priority in dating, I'm paying most of my attention to education. Anyways, some of the black females on here say "I won't date a white male if he hasn't been with a black female before." I think that's being a little unfair. What about white men like me who's never been with a woman before?

But, I don't know what's the problem in trying to figure why there is less BF/WM marriages or even relationships? Why is it so hard to figure out? It's the history! Believe me, I'm not trying to be a jerk. It's just a legitimate point. You guys are pretty much going in circles.

American Black Chick in London · 1 year ago

I'm not a WM, but to bring another perspective to this, I'm currently living in London and I must say I do see quite a few interracial couples, including many BW in IRR. Granted, I'm not sure how serious the relationships are, but in terms of pure numbers I see way more BW in IRR here than in my hometown of Atlanta. And it doesn't seem to just be the young 'uns (20-25 yr olds) either, as I see quite a few older interracial couples as well.

Lola · 1 year ago

When it comes to the types of black women wm will date, it varies. I have wm friends who like thick and curvy women and ones who like thin women with large breasts and a firm backside. I also have wm friends who like long hair, and some who like short hair.

My hair was half way down my back and I cut it to my chin a few years ago and my white bf at the time didn't like it. It grew back out, but I out-grew him. LOL Everyone has a preference, but when you feel that spark with someone, you don't pay attention to the hair or body-type as much. I like tall, dark haired guys, but my current bf has red hair and is a few inches taller than me. ^_^ It is what it is.

I think being receptive and open to IR works wonders. When I was younger I didn't realize I was being hit on by wm. I would go dancing and a wm would dance up next to me and I didn't pay attention.

I also had wm/hm sit next to me in class and start conversations with me. I would smile and talk, but once class was over, I would just leave and think nothing of it.

Part of it had to do with me being a bigger girl and having this notion that only skinny girls were attracting men, period. When you are younger and read those fashion magazines, you don't see big girls with the guys all around them. I fell for the "skinny is the only game in town," trap and didn't consider that many guys have varying tastes.

chimeziem · 1 year ago

i agree with what the last anonymous commenter said, i think it has a lot to do with the history. i was talking to one of my bw friends about IRRs the other day, and she said that when she even looks at wm, she just remembers all the horrors that have been committed against black ppl by them, and she can't get past that. i don't feel that way, because i'm african, and therefore am not (really) connected to that part of history in this country. there's a lot more that could go into this comment, but i'm pressed for time, lol:-) but i do hope that i've made a point here.

Siditty · 1 year ago

To actually answer the question.:-)When i said, not girls like me... All the black girls I KNOW HERE who's bf's are white, have naturally long wavy hair or wear weaves...Even my big brother told me that the majority of guys out there would not approach me if i wore an afro. :-D ah well ah well

I think today's men in general, regardless of race prefer "enhanced" looking women. Your boobs have to be big and firm, but not hang in the way only silicone can work, you must have long flowing hair, blue or green eyes, a firm, bit big ass, and a completely flat tummy that only lipo can provide, or more time in the gym than most are willing to spin.

---------------

This is how i view Texan men....

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=GAv8hI4QIrc

Please tell me it's true :-)!!!!

Not true. Cowboys don't dance like that, and not a lot of guys go around dressing like that unless they work on a ranch, and even then, they are not wearing stetson hats and Lucchese or Nocona boots, they are way too expensive. More than likely they are wearing flannels, denim, and some steel toed work boots, maybe a cowboy hat, but not a stetson one :)

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What if you never dated a woman before? I'm definitely not gay either. At 22, I feel left behind truthfully. I really never saw a priority in dating, I'm paying most of my attention to education. Anyways, some of the black females on here say "I won't date a white male if he hasn't been with a black female before." I think that's being a little unfair. What about white men like me who's never been with a woman before? 

But, I don't know what's the problem in trying to figure why there is less BF/WM marriages or even relationships? Why is it so hard to figure out? It's the history! Believe me, I'm not trying to be a jerk. It's just a legitimate point. You guys are pretty much going in circles.

Anon,

Don't be left behind, being 22, you are VERY young. I do think it is a bit unfair, but I understand their rationale, it is hard to explain things to people, or frustrating to get offended and the person not really know why because they haven't been around black people to know any better. If the women will end up eventually dating do find out you have never dated a woman of any race, they will cut you slack, as you won't have the questions that cause the comparison questions.

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American Black Chick In London,

I think the race dynamic in London is much different than in the US. Do you find this to be the case or not. I know that the few white guys my age that did approach me, some were European and oblivious to the "black is bad" syndrome that is prevalent here.

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I have wm friends who like thick and curvy women and ones who like thin women with large breasts and a firm backside. I also have wm friends who like long hair, and some who like short hair.

My husband likes booty, that is his thing, that and long hair, be it straight or natural, he isn't too much into short hair. I once asked him what he would do if I ever lost my hair, and he told me he would buy me a wig, I nearly pummeled him, and then he decided to give me the answer I sought, which was to love me and think I was pretty no matter what :)


I think being receptive and open to IR works wonders. When I was younger I didn't realize I was being hit on by wm. I would go dancing and a wm would dance up next to me and I didn't pay attention. 


Looking back, I agree I was the same way.

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i agree with what the last anonymous commenter said, i think it has a lot to do with the history.

That is very true. Many American white guys will date non-American black women, but won't dare look at an American black woman because they feel we have too many racial hang ups. Which we do, but so do many white people in America.

Beautifully.Conjured.Up · 1 year ago

I think the reason why BW/WM relationships aren't high in numbers are due to various factors. The ones that stick out the most are reasons previosly stated by other commenters, such as WM and BM not being in the same social circles (it's hard to step out of your niche into someone else's) and historical reasons. I would also like to think, BW are more hesitant to date WM due to various social ideologies in the black community, such as being seen as a weak woman, etc. (thankfully I don't care what society says or thinks). So many of my black female friends want to date WM, but are scared of the flack they will receive from the black community, especially BM.

laromana · 1 year ago

Although I understand the there is negative history between American BW/WM, there are plenty of American BW/American BW(of non-
American immigrant parents like me) who have always preferred WM and have experienced racist anti-BW treatment in our IRR's with them. I believe that MORE WM need to make A GREATER EFFORT to overcome racist, anti-BW tendencies and reach out to the MANY BW WHO ARE/HAVE ALWAYS been interested in being in SERIOUS DATING/MARRIAGE IRR's with them.

Adam · 1 year ago

@Suesue

I am curious as to why you say WM would not date BW that look like you. What type would that be? There are beautiful BW of all sorts, light skinned, dark skinned, short hair, long hair, big ones skinny ones, etc, etc, I like them all :)

For the question at large, I would definitely be serious with BW and I have in the past, but I've only ever dated BW so that is a given, for me at least. It hasn't always been easy considering the bars and parties I go with my friends are predominately white. And I feel that it will probably get harder if I am not in some sort of relationship before I leave college. However, seeing how BW are my preference I don't think it would be fair to myself to settle with something outside of my preference. So I will be persistent until I find the one that is right for me and hopefully I am right for her.

Suesue · 1 year ago

Adam i wish you luck in your search:-)I've just been unlucky i guess.

The American Black Chick In London is right about more IR's here in London with BW abd WM(me comparing it to Belgium). But are these men always British?? I am curious to know where she goes to hang out and who approaches her ???,....i shall follow

American Black Chick in London · 1 year ago

Re: Siditty
I think the race dynamic in London is much different than in the US. Do you find this to be the case or not.

Yes, I definitely find the race dynamic different here, which I'm guessing has a lot to do with history. Although Europeans had African colonies, it wasn't the same as the long history of slavery in the U.S. In my limited experience racism and stereotypes do exist in Europe. However, I've noticed that some British/European men will date women they find attractive, regardless of race. My friend and I went to Croatia 2 years ago and the whole time we were there, this Croatian guy pursued my friend hardcore...not in the 'I just want to f*ck you' way either. He was begging her to just give him a chance, to let him take her out to dinner. He even offered her and myself a free meal in the restaurant that he owned. So yeah, I agree with you Siddity, there's not the same pervasive idea of "black/black features are ugly"

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Re: Suesue What type of bw do WM tend to date do you think?

I think guys like all sorts, as has been said before: short, tall, dark, light, thin, BBW, short hair, long hair. After I finished my undergrad a few years ago I cut off my (relaxed) shoulder length hair and now rock a wee 'fro and I've been hit on...although admittedly not so much by BM.

Yanmommasaid · 1 year ago

There are lots of men who will use women for sex. This is no more/less an issue with black women dating white men than it is with black women dating black men. In response to the anonymous: C1's blog deals with (a) wm pov on IRR with black women and still there are not many wm commenting there. So where are the wm who really want to date bw? I dunno.

I do know a woman these days has to be careful in sorting the good from the bad in the men she meets and can't rely on race alone to tell a man's intentions. Look at what he does, not what he says, and eventually he'll show you who he is. It's a tough job but there are some good ones out there. I found one despite my serious doubts it would ever happen.

Siditty · 1 year ago

I do know a woman these days has to be careful in sorting the good from the bad in the men she meets and can't rely on race alone to tell a man's intentions. Look at what he does, not what he says, and eventually he'll show you who he is. It's a tough job but there are some good ones out there. I found one despite my serious doubts it would ever happen.

Go Yan!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!

You are right though, you can't tell a man's intention based upon race.

(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] · 1 year ago

Recently I met a guy, who I thought was pretty interesting...attractive, intelligent, successful..etc..etc...

He basically came out and told me that he hadn't had an AA woman in a long time, and he definitely couldn't see himself in a serious relationship with an AA woman, but he'd basically like to fulfill his 'quota'.

See, it's men like these that I avoid with the plague, and although they're not usually as blunt as this one man in particular, they're usually easy to spot.

Also, like you said, Siddity, there are AA women who avoid white men like the plague. AA women tend to be the most loyal to black men when it comes to not dating outside of their race. Like I tell all of my girlfriends, it's always good to have options.

Anonymous · 1 year ago

that's why i think it is a MUST for black women to include foreign men in our dating/marriage pool. i can't ignore these statistics: it's clear to me that american men are racist towards black women. i don't believe that it's "just" history. there is racism involved.

btw, i'm seeing more & more BW/WM pairings where i live (a state in the deep south). have i just contradicted myself? :-) most of the women are brown or dark-skinned, & curvy. hair doesn't seem to matter - i've seen braids, afros, long hair, short hair, everything.

Anonymous · 1 year ago

I havent read thru ALL of the comments. I did come across the aW/wM vs bW/wM point. I recently heard that aW a culturally prepositioned to persue men in percived positions of power. Given the American society's makeup the wM is seen as the only other option to marry outside of asian groupings. It is very rare that you see aWs married to any other group outside of other asians. I am an army veteran and you have the very few and extremely scarce sightings of Korean women married to Black or Hispanic soldiers. But an overwhelming amount of aW/wM. I think you have to look at cultural disposition overall.

wM are less likely to be open with their interest bW in this society due to the negative points associated with the black community. (point bW = Beta)

lormarie · 1 year ago

I'm not a white guy, but I find this topic to be very interesting. From personal observations, I firmly believe that the low numbers of black women in IR dating or marriages is due for the most part to one problem: that is the closemindedness of black women. There are certainly some racist white and other nonblack men, but the resistence is on the part of black women. When I look around me, I see black women who will not come out of the comfort zone or venture out into cross-cultural activities. My opinion will likely not be popular but I believe that black women should shake off the concept of "the black community" and see ourselves as black women in a global community. We should reach out to and enjoy people and activities that will expose us to different kinds of people, men specifically.

I'm likely preaching to the chior here, though.

That's my .25 cents.

Anonymous · 1 year ago

"I was once told by a white women, that white men who date black women do so because the expectations for white men are lower in those types of relationships. That black women tend to expect less in terms of education, job status, and social status than white women. I don't know if that is true or not, but I found it a bit offensive."
______________________________________

Of all the bw/wm partnerships I know of, the white man seems very unambitious and lazy, but nice. The usually black woman picks up the slack and is the more aggressive one in the relationship. She is responsible for the first flirtation, guiding the relationship and taking it further. Seems men, regardless of color, don't view black women with the same regard as women of other races. Rarely are black women pursued with intentions of marriage.

BlackchickUK · 1 year ago

As a Black British woman in the UK. I have to say that the relationships between BW & WM are similar to the America but with some differences. The people who came from the Caribbean in the 1940s and 1950s have a history with Britain which goes back to the British Empire through to Slavery and this still has some impact on WM/BW relations to this present day. Many WM in UK don't have any interactions with BW and don’t know how to get know to us or connect with us because of limited social interactions and the small number of BW in the UK. Also some WM have perceptions of black women as be being aggressive/argumentative which usually comes from the negative media portrayal. Therefore, the issue of lack of interactions between BW/WM is it just an American issue but a Western one.

Siditty · 1 year ago

He basically came out and told me that he hadn't had an AA woman in a long time, and he definitely couldn't see himself in a serious relationship with an AA woman, but he'd basically like to fulfill his 'quota'.

Did you curse him out, or just walk away LOL

-------

that's why i think it is a MUST for black women to include foreign men in our dating/marriage pool. i can't ignore these statistics: it's clear to me that american men are racist towards black women. i don't believe that it's "just" history. there is racism involved.

I will say there is racism involved, but not with most american men. I do know of white guys who have to raise the bar in the quality of black women vs. other women he dates. That sickens me to know end, especially if they themselves aren't of high quality.

--------


wM are less likely to be open with their interest bW in this society due to the negative points associated with the black community. (point bW = Beta)

I don't get that, do white guys assume they have to go to low income areas to meet black women, there is a very large black middle class, and we aren't all criminals, not even most of us, so why do white people still hold steadfast to beliefs that have been debunked for decades? Are you saying white people are racist for the most part?

---------

From personal observations, I firmly believe that the low numbers of black women in IR dating or marriages is due for the most part to one problem: that is the closemindedness of black women.

I agree, but I argue there is close minded thinking on the side of white men as well.

---------

Of all the bw/wm partnerships I know of, the white man seems very unambitious and lazy, but nice.

Wow seriously, careerwise my husband is very ambitious, he makes significantly more than I do, and I have become a crackberry widow at times because he is so involved in his work. Now he is lazy about housework, I will admit, but I could never call him unambitious, ever.

He is also really nice, at least to me :)

Most of the bw/wm relationships I know of the men and women tend to be very ambitious, of course I only know about five couples on a more than casual basis. Two couples have children, where the mother is a SAHM, the other three both work, both professional, both educated.

Seems men, regardless of color, don't view black women with the same regard as women of other races. Rarely are black women pursued with intentions of marriage.

I tend to agree.

----------

Many WM in UK don't have any interactions with BW and don’t know how to get know to us or connect with us because of limited social interactions and the small number of BW in the UK. Also some WM have perceptions of black women as be being aggressive/argumentative which usually comes from the negative media portrayal.

So they do have similar issues there that we have here in America, but my question is why do they manage to date and marry IR at higher numbers in the UK than we do in the US? Did the UK ever have legal segregation like we did here, I am not sure.

(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] · 1 year ago

Girl, I didn't curse him out (I definitely wanted to), but I didn't bite my tongue with him either! He then went on to say that I shouldn't get 'pissy' with him b/c at least he was being honest. I was infuriated. I had never had any man say anything so disrespectful to me before. It felt like I was back in the 1930's, but all I could think of was, "My president-elect is black" & those were the last words I left him with.

American Black Chick in London · 1 year ago

BlackchickUK, I'm curious about the BW/WM interaction in the UK as well. I haven't been in the UK that long, but as an American, I just don't have a good grasp of the history if BW/BW interactions here. BW/WM couples definitely seem to be higher here (in London) than in many cities back in the US.

Anonymous · 1 year ago

I'm born and bred in the UK. FYI
15% of Black British African women and 20% of Black British caribbean women are MARRIED to white men - if you check the stats. from the national govt. statistics.
(for indians, pakistanis and bangladeshis the figure is 6%,4% and 3%).
I'm not sure what the stats. in the USA are, but i doubt if they are comparible to the UK.
CAW

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Hey Siditty!

Great topic. One thing I like about your blog is that you aren't afraid to direct your questions to WM. I'm not hear to bash other IR blogs, but I feel as if it's always what BW need to do to attract/get WM. At the same time I'm like what are "WM doing to get us"!?!?! Lol. They act as if wm are just sitting around waiting for us and us bw refusing them, when the reality is they aren't. Who wants to wait on love, period. I'm tired of the BW aren't opened-minded crap b/c I think with BW/WM IRR, it really goes both ways.

I agree with what C1 said about the blk community making out wm to be monsters at times...but the same can be said about the wc. I think the lack of BW/WM IR is due to the fact it although growing, it is sooo uncommon that maybe some ppl are afraid to fall in love for the sake of love.

I know you're in your 30s, but if you are apart of the Facebook network, check out the IR groups. They are HUGE. You'll see pics of young couples or even single bw/wm. There's a lot of discussion forums and it's not one sided...you'll find as many white guys willing to talk as much as black girls. I really do think the girl to guy ratio is if not 50/50, it's 55/45. I agree with 212542...there are other social networks that wm are really active in and some of the same questions you have asked wm to respond to have also been asked in forums on Facebook.

I'm 22/23 and I think the tide really is changing for BW/WM in my age group. I'm not sure about men in their 30s/40s bc I'm not that age yet. Does the media play a role...partially. But I think men are men. If he finds an attractive black women who is very ambitious and career-oriented. I think if he's really attracted to her and think she's feeling her vibe, he'll go after her. This is how I feel about my age group.

But at the same time, some of us need to remember that there are some wm out there no matter how attractive you are that will never fall for you and the same can be said with bw.

ann · 1 year ago

the % of bw in ir marriages in the US is 5% - well below the % is the uk

kyleth · 1 year ago

I think it's time to expatriate. :)

I think that the difference between the UK and the US is who exactly is at the bottom of the totem pole. I believe black women date and marry out more because of that social dynamic rather than men being more open minded.

(Or perhaps I'm being overly pessimistic.)

Joshua · 1 year ago

As a white man, I could never date a black woman. I think I speak for most non-black men. I would be deathly embarrassed to bring her around my family and friends. Also, many black females are racist and have bad attitudes. I do find a very small percentage of black women pretty, but Black women as a group have VERY UGLY personality problems.

It's the pathetic attitude of Black AMERICAN Women combined with the crusty ass weaves and
body weight problems that make A LOT OF BLACK GUYS WANT TO DATE OUTSIDE THE RACE and most white guys avoid them like the plague.

Furthermore, I hate black culture. I think it's a gutter culture. I don't want to be around that nonsense. I've had black women ask me why I do not date black females? I TELL them the truth, I don't like WEAVES,or WIGS. I am not attracted to Bitter jealous,hating females who like to Gossip.
I get Peace of mind and a drama free relationship with women of my own race or Asian women. In my mind white women and Asian women will always reign supreme. The only white men who are into black chicks are the wiggers. Wiggers are white men with no knowledge of themselves. They're white men with very little self-esteem. There is a racial hierarchy in the world and black women are at the bottom. In my opinion, dating a white woman is an honor. Dating a black woman is an embarrassment.

Siditty · 1 year ago

Josh,

Not to question your authenticity, but you sound like a troll.

Joshua · 1 year ago

No, I'm for real. I just can't stand most black women. However, I like your blog.

lormarie · 1 year ago

Siditty,

My bet is that this person is a troll and I doubt he's even white. There are a lot of racist white men out there but this person's rant appears to be that of someone on the inside (black) rather than of another race. For example, racists almost never give any kind of sympathy to black men dating women of other races.

Siditty · 1 year ago

Also, many black females are racist and have bad attitudes.

Why I think you are a troll. It seems strange to me that you would have the audacity to call black females racist, while spewing off racist stereotypes.

In terms of you speaking for most non black men, I don't buy it. I exclusively dated white men, grew up in the South where miscegenation was illegal, but practiced often, usually by white men with black women, and for the most part, most white men although not actively seeking black women, wouldn't be opposed to the idea, depending upon the person. You on the other hand start talking about weaves and wigs. Not all black women wear weaves and wigs. I have never worn weaves and wigs and know many black women who avoid weaves and wigs like the plague. Then you talk about "gutter culture". I never knew the culture that produced people like Charlie Parker, Langston Hughes, Leontyne Price, Martin Luther King, Colin Powell, Dr. Daniel Williams, and countless others was "gutter" culture. I always assume if all you see is gutter like behavior from the people you are around, maybe you are trolling in the gutter yourself. White culture has it's "gutter elements" as well, hve you not heard of Larry The Cable Guy?

I am not attracted to Bitter jealous,hating females who like to Gossip.

Then you are not into most suburban white women, trust me, you have never seen gossip and jealousy if you haven't been around suburban white girls.

I get Peace of mind and a drama free relationship with women of my own race or Asian women. In my mind white women and Asian women will always reign supreme.

Another reason I think you are a troll, you honestly believe white women are drama free? Seriously? My mother in law is white and FULL of drama on a constant basis.

The only white men who are into black chicks are the wiggers. Wiggers are white men with no knowledge of themselves.

Wiggers? My husband listens to Iron Maiden, is into computer games, and works as a IT consultant for a living, what exactly is "wigger" about that? I would also like to point out the majority of white men who approached me in my past, weren't wiggers, but preppy, republican, khaki wearing white men. In terms of self esteem, my husband's self esteem isn't low at all, most men I know don't.

The stereotypes you used prove that either you are not a white male, but rather a black male, and that more than likely you have never been around black people, and if you have, you were trolling in the lowest common denominator of black people, which seems to me if you do that, you probably hang out with the lowest common denominator of white people.

Dating a black woman is an embarrassment.

Uuuhhhhmmm yeah, the college educated black women is an embarrassment in comparison to a white woman high school drop out with three kids and four teeth. Yeah, I believe that.

---------------

No, I'm for real. I just can't stand most black women. However, I like your blog.

How can you like my blog, I am a "gutter culture", weave and wig wearing, black woman, per you? How could you like a blog like that? Again, another reason I think you are a troll.

----------------

My bet is that this person is a troll and I doubt he's even white. There are a lot of racist white men out there but this person's rant appears to be that of someone on the inside (black) rather than of another race. For example, racists almost never give any kind of sympathy to black men dating women of other races.

You are on point, and probably correct.

Suesue · 1 year ago

In London they are much more open to IRRs and it is very common to see them. Infact, it's normal. Most...okay ALL of my friends see nothing wrong with IRR. Maybe a few black friends of mine will joke about my friend who seems to only go out with a white people, but it's usually harmless teasing. There is a sense that you are a "sell-out" etc. But not as strong as in the US.

In the US , it seems like history plays a big part if how IR couples are percieved. The history of colonialism and europe does not have as much of an impact.

I've only LIVED in the UK for a year and a bit now. The majority of my life was spent in Belgium, which is not as diverse as the London(i won't say UK as the rest of the UK exception of Manchester and Birmingham are not as diverse) so most of my experience is based on that.

I told my cousins here i loved the London and thought it was much less racist than the US and Belgium. But when i say that, they usually raise an eyebrow and tell me i need to live here for a while longer...

Yanmommasaid · 1 year ago

Siditty,

Obviously this Joshua person is just here to insult and agitate. Why even let his comments, which do not even merit a response, through? Isn't that why comment moderation is enabled?

Anonymous · 1 year ago

"crusty ass weaves"

How many whites use the word "ass" in this way? It's almost always Blacks who use it for emphasis in describing something ("ugly ass", "grown ass", etc).

classical one · 1 year ago

As a white man, I could never date a black woman. I think I speak for most non-black men. I would be deathly embarrassed to bring her around my family and friends. Also, many black females are racist and have bad attitudes. I do find a very small percentage of black women pretty, but Black women as a group have VERY UGLY personality problems.



Isn't it kind of weird to accuse people of racist and bad attitudes and then have one yourself?

Scooter · 1 year ago

Siddity, for your Poll:

Q: How many of you here have actually dated black women?
A: I HAVE.

Q: Of those who have, have you ever been seriously involved with a black woman?
A: I HAVE.

Q: If you haven't been in a serious relationship with black women, but have dated black women, what keeps you from taking the next step?
A: Not Applicable.

Q: Are you open to getting "serious" with a black woman?
A: YES, AM CURRENTLY MARRIED TO A BW (1 CHILD).

Q: What type of black woman would it take for you to "get serious"?
A: COMPATIBLE, FUN, DRIVEN, ATTRACTIVE, GOOD HEART. THE SAME CHARACTERISTICS I WOULD LOOK FOR IN ANY WOMAN.

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Kyleth, SueSue et al:

As Sid has stated-I think that there are large cultural differences between the UK and the USA.I think that most whites would feel that they have more culturally in common with UK blacks rather than with other minority groups (who also have the religious differences to cope with ie islam - who are denigrated in the media for not integrating in British soceity etc etc).

Muslims and thus asians:south east asians (I know that they all arent muslim - but any brown skin as opposed to black skin is usually treated as such) are the other main ethnic group in the UK and are treated as the "other" in a way which blacks for the most part are not.

The cultural differences are also why I have never seen the conflict - at a personal level or 'community' level re who individual BW date. My sis has never been on a date with a BM in her life - she met her first partner at university - 20yrs ago and her hubby at work.There's no people staring at them in the street or pointing etc -and she met his parents staright away - no problems. This is pretty much the norm amongst the BW I know.I only know of one friend (mum irish dad nigerian)where there was a problem - her partners parents were from some small backwards village in Irelandm -and obviously not used to black people (or in her case 1/2 black person LOL)

Also - again culturally - the UK has never had the systematic discrimination enshrined in law or laws against mixed marriages, unlike the USA. My uncle was married to a WW - since 1946, as were several of my mum and dads friends - who first came to the UK during WW2. They faced discrimination of course - but no legal sanctions against who they married.

CAW

brohammas · 1 year ago

Joshua,
You state that most white woman are racist then go on to say you would be embarassed to be seen with on. You call black culture a "gutter culture". Who are you to call anyone racist?
Is appalachian culture gutter?
How about inner city Irish?
western ranchers and farmers?

I suppose Paris Hilton, Madonna, Brittney Spears, and good 'Ol anna Nicole are icons of high white culture. None of them are immitating black culture and i hope they make you proud.

Apprechiating another's culture in no way discredits your own.

You may not be a troll, but your post is racist.

I know I can't spell, its part of MY gutter culture.

Nike in Northeast England · 1 year ago

On IRR in the UK, i'll say that it depends where you are. In diverse cities like London and Manchester there seems to be more IRRs. Anytime i go to London, i get checked out by white men and i've got a short afro and i have those so called typical African features. I live in a small towm in the Northeast of England where there are not much black people to begin with. The only IRRs i see here are white men with asian women. Most of my black friends here are single but they seem not to consider IRR. i've seen bw/wm couples in London, Manchester and Edinburgh but not in my little town.

BlackchickUK · 1 year ago

As a person of Caribbean heritage we know the long and hard struggle we had in this country to gain equal rights to our white counterparts. The Black communities in the UK are still fighting for equal jobs, housing etc. When my mum tells me about the way white English people refer to black people in the 1950s & 1960s it was blatant racism. There was no legal segregation at that time but there were signs saying 'no dogs, no Irish, no blacks'. Mixed relationships have not always been accepted in the UK but it was never outlawed like the US but there was hostility towards it. It has lessened over the course of the last two decades. That being said BM/WW relationships are more likely to be highlighted in the media than BW/WM and the numbers of black men dating/marrying WW is about 50% in the UK whereas BW is 30%. What I have notice in the streets of London is far more BM/WW than BW/WM. I usually see about 10-15 BM/WW couples a week compare to 2 BW/WM if that and I have to double take each time! Like I said unless white men in the UK explicitly show an interest in BW, we think white men are not interest in dating us and because the ideal partner for a white men in the UK is blonde hair, blue-eyed and size 12, black women can't compete with this image of desirability that is constantly churn out by the mainstream media. Also my BW friends notice that WM don't show them as much interest in them as BM do in social settings. The BW I know who have White boyfriends have usually met them in University, so there a pattern there but random dating between WM & BW is not happening as much from what I can see. Sorry for the long rant!!!

laromana · 1 year ago

In addition to IGNORING THE RACIST, DUMB A_,DBR,DEMENTED POS TROLL, BW should continue visiting Sarah's blog and focus on the VISUAL EVIDENCE of REAL LIFE WEALTHY, UPPER CLASS WM (eg, a prince, a count, CEO's, lawyers, doctors, celebrities, etc.) who are MARRIED to a VARIETY OF QUALITY BW. The FACT is that these WM are EVOLVED AND INTELLIGENT enough to IGNORE BACKWARDS, RACIST, ANTI-BW LIES and choose to DATE, MARRY, AND LOVE ANY BW THEY WANT.

kaliber · 1 year ago

online at a NY club on saturday my friend and i overhear this snippet of conversation:

WM1: there seems to be whole lot of asian girls on line here.

WM2: yeah but that's cool with me. thats just my type!

WM1:me too! i've got that yellow fever bad!

my friend and i (both of us are BW) were in openmouthed shock, but to be honest, not surprised. im from a town just outside of NYC. it is densely populated and highly diverse. my highschool boasted having one person from nearly every place in the world. but even with those rainbow coalition stats the IRR match-ups most popular &/or of choice were W or BM with AW then HW.
even outnumbering the #'s of AW and HW -BW still got the shaft.
(or rather, didn't haha)

that said --
i've had long-term (2+ yrs)relationships w WM. was engaged to a WM. in my experiences BM tend to approach me for fling-type or just sex relationships more often than WM. (not that WM dont approach for that, just not as often)
maybe its the type of guys i date
(higher educated urban professional types, 25-32) but a BM with those stats are what my friends call 'unicorns'

sad part -- they often act like they know their type (supposedly) isnt thick on the ground. so we as BW should be happy to be around despite faults bc they are in such demand.
(WM with such stats are in demand too --but the BW looking for a unicorn are less apt to IRRs.)

**
ive been the 1st BW that a WM has dated. i felt some kind of way about it -- but did it anyway w good results. i've also dated that BM that
only does IRR's bc BW are 'too dramatic'.
of the two issues id pick the WM over the BM.

Siditty · 1 year ago

How many whites use the word "ass" in this way? It's almost always Blacks who use it for emphasis in describing something ("ugly ass", "grown ass", etc).

You are very much on point.

----------

Isn't it kind of weird to accuse people of racist and bad attitudes and then have one yourself?

It probably isn't even a white male.

-----------

Scooter,

Thank you so much for your response. Another question I would have for you, is for the white men who you know, even if they aren't known to date IR, do you think they would be open for the right opportunity?

-----------

The cultural differences are also why I have never seen the conflict - at a personal level or 'community' level re who individual BW date. My sis has never been on a date with a BM in her life - she met her first partner at university - 20yrs ago and her hubby at work.There's no people staring at them in the street or pointing etc -and she met his parents staright away - no problems. This is pretty much the norm amongst the BW I know.I only know of one friend (mum irish dad nigerian)where there was a problem - her partners parents were from some small backwards village in Irelandm -and obviously not used to black people (or in her case 1/2 black person LOL)

So you would say that at least open hostility is almost non existent? Wow. I am not saying that it happens on a regular basis here, but it has happened.

------------

I suppose Paris Hilton, Madonna, Brittney Spears, and good 'Ol anna Nicole are icons of high white culture. None of them are immitating black culture and i hope they make you proud.

Brohammas,

You know Paris Hilton is HIGH class :)

------------

Most of my black friends here are single but they seem not to consider IRR. i've seen bw/wm couples in London, Manchester and Edinburgh but not in my little town.

Nike,

So are you saying that there is more acceptance in metropolitan areas than not? A guy I dated in College was from the UK and he said IR dating wasn't necessarily prevalent where he lived, but it wasn't unheard of or met with opposition either. Of course too, I don't think he was completely living in a small town either, I think he was close to Leeds.

-------------


. Mixed relationships have not always been accepted in the UK but it was never outlawed like the US but there was hostility towards it.

Maybe that is why there seems to be more acceptance there now, as opposed to the US were it was illegal until 1967.

--------------

BW should continue visiting Sarah's blog and focus on the VISUAL EVIDENCE of REAL LIFE WEALTHY, UPPER CLASS WM (eg, a prince, a count, CEO's, lawyers, doctors, celebrities, etc.) who are MARRIED to a VARIETY OF QUALITY BW. The FACT is that these WM are EVOLVED AND INTELLIGENT enough to IGNORE BACKWARDS, RACIST, ANTI-BW LIES and choose to DATE, MARRY, AND LOVE ANY BW THEY WANT.

There are actual white college educated males posting on this blog married to black women. The fact of the matter is, I don't need to see it, I experience it, and many people here (bw and wm) have. I don' t think looking at "celebrities" in IR will do anything to prove anything. What we need to see are real life examples, which I see those folks posting here all the time.

---------------

sad part -- they often act like they know their type (supposedly) isnt thick on the ground. so we as BW should be happy to be around despite faults bc they are in such demand. 
(WM with such stats are in demand too --but the BW looking for a unicorn are less apt to IRRs.)

The thing is they are told they are "unicorns" they know it and those men use that to their advantage, as they know that BW still for the most part hold out for BM. I am not saying it is right, but they are told constantly they fought the odds and won, and they tend to play it up and use it to their advantage. It doesn't matter of they aren't capable of commitment, have horrible personalities, treat you like crap, or are unattractive, you are supposed to swoon at the idea of finding the mythical, rare BM. Unfortunately for some of these men, there are tons of BW who grew up seeing and knowing "unicorns" married to black women, and know these men offer more than their success in fighting the odds, and aren't impressed by that alone.

laromana · 1 year ago

Siddity,
I never said BW ONLY need to see celebrity BW/WM IRR's or that REAL BW/WM IRR'S aren't being represented on this blog. I was mainly countering the GARBAGE spewed by the anti-BW, racist troll.

stella · 1 year ago

What's a unicorn? Joshua, the phrasing of your little commentary sold you out. Last thing Joshua, on behalf of all black women I would like to thank you for removing yourself from the potential dating pool.

Nike · 1 year ago

'So are you saying that there is more acceptance in metropolitan areas than not? A guy I dated in College was from the UK and he said IR dating wasn't necessarily prevalent where he lived, but it wasn't unheard of or met with opposition either. Of course too, I don't think he was completely living in a small town either, I think he was close to Leeds.'

I'm not sure about acceptance but it is definitely more common in metropolitan areas. At least from my observations. Actually just last week, a guy from this area in one of my classes (i'm a grad student) showed interest in me. I don't know if anything will come out of this though since it's just been a week. I think with IR dating, most folks over here will ignore the couples they see in public.

Suesue · 1 year ago

You went out with a guy from Leeds ??:-D...yeh,they're alright up there...but @ Nike...I'm not too sure about Edinbrugh...but if this is true...i must get myself ascottish bloke

Siditty · 1 year ago

You went out with a guy from Leeds ??:-D...yeh,they're alright up there...but @ Nike...I'm not too sure about Edinbrugh...but if this is true...i must get myself ascottish bloke


Yes, in college, he was one of the first guys I ever seriously dated, if you count a semester of college. We were officially boyfriend and girlfriend for almost two months. Very serious. In all honesty though, he was the first white guy that actually actively pursued me, before then I didn't think I really had a chance with white guys.

Joshua · 1 year ago

There are black men WHO DO NOT CARE ABOUT
SKIN TONE OR HAIR TEXTURE.I know guys
who have NO PROBLEM DATING A DARK SKINNED FEMALE.
The funny thing is Many of these guys are Dating
out side the race. Why? A guy I work with
CAN'T STAND THE ATTITUDE A LOT OF BLACK AMERICAN WOMEN HAVE,He is dating a Black woman from South Africa.He tell's me HE WILL NEVER DATE AMERICAN BLACK Females.

I also hear this A LOT From guys,
who have been to Brazil.
Brazil has a BIG POPULATION OF BLACK PEOPLE
There are 80 million Blacks in Brazil,
many of them are DARK SKINNED.
Just about evey black guy I know
who has been to brazil,noticed HOW DIFFERENT BLACK WOMEN IN BRAZIL ARE from American black women.
Many of them have Manners,most of them have
a positive Attitude about them selves.
They are feminine and CARRY THEM SELVES
IN A MUCH MORE POSITIVE WAY than A LOT
of American Black Females.
These women face a lot of Discrimination.
MOST of them LIVE IN POVERTY.
Brazil is a VERY Color Struck country. Blacks in Brazil are considered to be the lowest in society
Yet Black Brazilian women do not have the
Shitty attitude that a lot of American Black females have.

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Wow Joshua,
For a white guy who is so against dating a black FEMALE, you seem to know alot about them and their differences through-out the diaspora! Were you Pan-African studies major in college??! How cool!

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Siditty, why would you let Joshua's comments through? i don't understand why some Black female IRR bloggers let these idiots vent their hatred for Black women. what is the point?

American Black Chick in London · 1 year ago

Re: Joshua
Although it's been interesting reading quite a bit of the crap that you've been posting, I agree with Siditty. You sound like a troll. Also, I don't know too many white guys who use and understand the term "colorstruck." I don't think the point of Siditty's post (IMO) wasn to completely slag off BW/American BW. And comparing American BW to Brazilian BW isn't a terribly fair comparison. It ignores too much about the differing histories of both countries....same applies to comparing BW of different countries. Shockingly enough, we're not all the same and neither are our background and history.

FunkyStarkitty50 · 1 year ago

I believe that with each generation, attitudes are changing and maybe one day, this won't be an issue. Here's hoping..

Dark Moon · 1 year ago

I'll stand corrected if I'm wrong but I don't think Wm are marrying say Hw in high numbers. I believe that number is lower then Bw/Wm marriages.
Where I live I hardly see any Wm/Hw together if at all.

Off tangent--In America, the Census stats illustrate that WM/HF pairings are the largest interracial pairings in America followed closely by AW/WM pairings. In addition, the Hispanic definition does not adhere to a stipulated race category like Black and White, therefore Hispanics can be any race and thus many self identified Hispanics are actually racially and ethnically White, which further skews the Interracial Stats and explains why it is often far more socially acceptable to marry a Hispanic person.

Even though all races are usually endogamic, the favored pairing among Asians and Latinos are usually White, with Asian men and White women less likely to engage in an interracial marriage compared to white men and Asian and Latino women. In fact Asian men have a harder time marrying out (they will likely choose another Asian nationality first besides their own) even though their first choice, if they decide to do so, would be a White women. The next choice a Latino Woman as shown in the Census stats.

Asian woman have usually been positively exoticized since Marco Polo and even though they may have some issues of racial invisibility in America, many White men have a propriety interest in Asian women and thus it seems that this pairing just seems like a natural progression. The only Asian group that is strongly endogamic are East Indians, although East Indian Men date and marry out more than their female counterparts.

http://www.asian-nation.org/interracial2.shtml

http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/hh-fam/cps2006.html

Zindzi (aka BGP) · 1 year ago

Hold on...C1 said "Despite the election of Obama, the old guard will try and do everything to keep the status quo of "white men as the ultimate enemy" and I'm talking about people like Rev. Wright, Louis Farrakhan, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton. Why? Because they have a job at stake."

Ok, this is just a personal thing, and perhaps its because I'm just plain sick of it, but people need to STOP mischaracterizing my pastor dammit! My pastor has encouraged Black women to marry white men IN OUR CHURCH!!!! Man, for people who claim to be able to be so open-minded, folks sure will believe whatever the media tells them! Ugh!!!!!!!!! When have you EVER heard Pastor Wright say "white folks are the enemy?" I would really love to read that...and I'm sure the white members of our church would too.

simone · 1 year ago

My opinion is the black community leadership has a vested interest in seeing black women stay put and the continued demonization of white men, it's a good political out for them. Same thing goes for multiracial folks, black leadership will do everything in their power to make sure one drop continues.
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I agree with that and also resent the fact that we are supposed to stay with black men for the sake of the race while they go and do whatever they want to do and date and marry whoever they want to marry. It makes me sick.

Candice · 11 months ago

The "Joshua" character sounds like it has read every stereotypical negative article or forum post it could stuff into its sick little mind regarding the topic of BW and IRR dating. In comparison to the intelligent and thoughtful commentary posted by the other commentators, "Josh's" vitriol stands out like it were spray painted a vomit inducing shade of day-glo green.

Siditty I'm glad you let its post through, it made for a very telling juxtaposition between what a real human being would have to say on the topic vs a "touched in the head" troll's warped world view.

Anonymous · 10 months ago

I'm young but I've been in my fair share of interracial relationships. I've dated asian men, white men, and Indian men. I've found that it's easier for me to date guys outside of my race because, I belive, I'm not racially "threatening". Nobody has ever said this to me but I believe it to be so. I prefer dating outside of my race simply because I'm only interested in interracial relationships. I love and adore my race, but I haven't found myself attracted to a black male in a very long time.