DISQUS

Yan · 2 years ago

I think Lil Kim looked much better before she had all of that work done. She looks freaky and plastic now. I do like streaks though. I tried blue ones but they were way too much upkeep and I hated how they turned aqua after one wash. I've also had bright red streaks. Now I just have copper ones b/c that way I don't have to do any upkeep.

I wore braids years ago when I was trying to repair my hair after all the relaxer damage. I'm not really a fan of weaves but I also have a lot of hair, so I kinda feel like maybe I shouldn't judge.

Colored contacts always freaked me out, though. But I've always found lighter eyes on black people to be kinda creepy, Tyra being the exception.

But, as a former optometrist's assistant, I have to say WHAT WERE YOU THINKING PUTTING THOSE CONTACTS IN THEY WEREN'T FROM A LICENSED PROFESSIONAL!! That is so dangerous.

DMB · 2 years ago

I think it s obviously low self-esteem, feeling like your own features don't 'stand out' enough or are not pretty enough in a culture where blue eyed blonde has become the standard ALL OVER THE WORLD.

Here in Japan, you will see more women AND MEN with dyed hair rather than with their natural Black. They wear colored contacts and they wear eye glue on their eyelids to make them look more western.

And yes, they look freakish.

But this is what has happened. The American media (movies, etc.) is telling the entire world what is pretty.

Siditty · 2 years ago

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING PUTTING THOSE CONTACTS IN THEY WEREN'T FROM A LICENSED PROFESSIONAL!

Yan:

My husband said the same thing, he was so scared I was going to go blind. Basically they were selling samples. They were sealed, but not meant for long term use. I was planning on using them forever until they dried out and one pair my husband actually threw away. My eyes were watering, he made me take them out right then and there and threw them away at the gas station. They were pretty contacts too LOL

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Dmb:

I think it is so sad we have all been fooled into believing European beauty is the "best". The eye glue thing sound scary though, does it actually work or do they just look freaky?

DMB · 2 years ago

Hi Sidditty,

To be honest I'm not so sure what it is exactly they do with the eyelid so I can't say! I keep asking Japanese people why they are so self conscious about their eyelids. Folks' eyelids look the same to me.

But just liek Black people suffer from self-hatred, asians have got it JUST AS BAD.

They're self conscious about having short legs, large heads, flat faces, straight hair, asian eyes--and they do everything within their power to look different! It's pretty sad.

The models are all either only half-asian or just plain white, so the images they see are not even true reflections of themselves. The magazines, the ads, everything.. Sad.

Anonymous · 2 years ago

I came across this post doing a google search. But I just wanted to ask what does what other people do have to do with you? I don't understand why everyone is so worried about what other people are doing. Stop stereotyping people into one group. There are people of all ethnicities who use hair extensions in some form. How about african americans don't like getting perms but don't wanna deal with the hassle of straightening their hair everyday? I'm starting to get into hair weaves so that I can grow my natural hair out. None of this has anything to do with anyone else but me (or the person who is doing it). Everyone's "oh it's self hatred" but you're hating on people who do it and there are plenty of white people who hate on us either way. Why not as a black person you tell people how to love themselves instead of bashing them? Don't even talk about Lil Kim. Everyone knows she has problems with her self esteem but that has CRAP to do with you or anyone else. Also, other ethnicities do things like this as well, you don't see them attacking eachother do you? A majority of black kids can't read, are going to jail, are without a father. Talk on some ish like that instead.

Siditty · 2 years ago

Anon:

Obviously you didn't read my whole post. I did note there are plenty of black women in this world who wear weave who have no self hate issues. I posted this because we live in a Western society where white and black ideals of beauty tend to lean towards European standards. Blacks women views of themselves are skewed. I think this is why SOME people are more prone to wear weaves, buy color contacts, and bleach their skin rather than invest in their schools or their children.

Black women live in a community where they are blamed for everything and are expected to be the backbone. Most other ethnicities tend to blame the parents, not just the mother. Besides, other ethnicities don't really concern me, I am black. I will readily talk about Paris Hilton and her dyed blond hair as well as other women who feel blond=pretty.

In terms of talking about most black kids unable to read, last time I checked most black kids could read, most black people were not in jail, and I do happen to discuss other issues in the black community as well. I could also ask you why do you care what I think on the subject enough to half read a post and automatically come on the defense about why you wear weave?

classical one · 1 year ago

Yeah, I want the ol Lil KIm back, she was dead sexy. This white/blond hair thing is very disturbing. Soo many do seem to be obsessed with blonds and I'm sure this and media exposure of the "blond goddess" has allot to do with it.

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Thank you this is such a great blog post. I am a natural sista myself and sporting a big afro because I love afro hair thats just me. Personally I believe Lil Kim looked so much better before she put in the blonde wig/weave and blue contacts, I agree with classic one that now she looks disturbing. I also speak on this topic on my blog maybe you would like to check it out:

http://lilkemet.wordpress.com/

Maria · 1 year ago

I came across this post doing a google search as well! I am looking to dye my hair pink, purple, and blue, but I have to lighten it first.

The women that I know do these sort of things just b/c they want to.

I do see your point though and I think it is best illustrated in Hollywood where it seems EVERY WOC lightens and brightens. That's where I really get suspicious b/c there seems to be no variety in that what so ever.

They've all got the golden blonde going on.

Maria · 1 year ago

I'v always wanted to try color contacts b/c I just wonder "what would I look like with grey eyes? or green?"

Ginger · 1 year ago

So, I'm Black with natural red hair- should I dye it black or brown to accommodate the many stereotypes you've mentioned? Black people are born with many hair shades, skin tones, and eyes colors. Why should we limit ourselves all because you think whites are exclusive to traits that are dished out among ALL humans?

Siditty · 1 year ago

OK You reached way back by commenting on this post, but to answer your question, no you shouldn't, but you should be happy with what you have. I have naturally curly hair and I was born a red head, people to this day love to touch my hair because it is longer and doesn't grow into an Afro, people assume it is a weave. I am not going to cut my hair, you shouldn't dye yours. This post was simply about black women embracing and striving for a european standard of beauty, and shunning and insulting those of us who have decided to embrace our natural features. When I went natural I got the nastiest comments from black people, I didn't have my hair dyed fried and laid to the side and it bothered people.

Anonymous · 1 year ago

I notice it is mostly black women who already have long hair that have a problem with other black women wearing weaves. I have long hair. As a child I didn't and I would never wear a weave. Now that my hair grew long I will braid it up and get a full stocking cap weave because I never new how fun long hair was but it is also alot to manage so I'd rather do it to fake hair than my own. I also wear color contacts on my already light brown eyes. I change them as I change my eye make up. I would never change anything about myself permently. But I love being able to use modern discovery to have fun. And if a person black or white wants to change there hair with weaves or color or perm or relaxer. Maybe it's just because it is fun to do something different. Same goes for eye color. Most girls black, white or other enjoy long hair. It's not self hate it's just the joy of being a girl. And those who don't rock too.-Made4U2Wonder

Siditty · 1 year ago

Why would people with already long hair be bothered? Why would you wear weave if you already had long hair of your own to style? I mean the purpose of most weaves is to add length and volume?

Unique1 · 1 year ago

I liked her before that blonde weave..



Lil Kim had to be stereotyped when she was younger or in high school as being black. She felt like she did not fit in because she did not have long hair and bright eyes (she grew up in Brooklyn). She grew up with the Dominicans, Cubans, and Puerto Ricans. We all know that they have long hair, bright eyes, and some are light. She felt left out or ugly because she did not look like everyone else. She was dark skinned with short hair. So now that she can afford to change her flaws (so she thinks) it has caused her to change her appearance because she viewed that as pretty. I can’t really understand why she went to the extreme but at times it is hard being black. Racism is still here and black people get discriminated on daily. There was an incident in her past which made her feel uncomfortable in her own skin. Who don’t want to feel pretty? Not to say being natural isn’t pretty. It is true that black people wear weaves and perm they hair, But if they did not they feel like they fit in with the new society. You rarely see a black woman rocking a fro now a days. Mainly because to society it’s nappy or kinky. I think Lil Kim looks a mess because she was prettier before. Now she just look fake and like Michael Jackson little sister. I am not being mean but real. With Michael too. He bleached his skin because he was discriminated by being black or he just wanted to be white. When things happen like that to you when you are a child it sticks with you. Even though you can be perfect you just want to fit in with the rest. Sad but true. Even me I am a dark skinned black woman and I wear a weave. I am growing my hair though’ and not only that I do not have a perm. Perms damage my hair. It is a pain to comb my hair it’s thick and nappy. I cry every time I get my hair done, but I am black and this is the way God made me. There is nothing I would change about my appearance. I think one day she will look back on all this and regret it because she can never undo what is done. She was a very beautiful black woman before this transformation. I guess it's not for me to judge but one thing I can say is I love being me...Unique

Zee · 1 year ago

For people like Lil Kim, its obviously a personal problem, the depths of which are unfathomable to a casual observer much as my self and so i would not comment on her issues.
I for one wear weaves and wigs because, i love the versatility it gives me with styling. i can change my look as and when i feel like. My hair is in its natural african state and i love to wear it out on occassion in a fro. i also love to experiment with coloured contacts but all these have no bearing on my view of self and or confidence. i know who i am and love who i am, and all the externals are just me having fun plain and simple.

kim1 · 1 year ago

Hi I do not have a problem with any type of enhancement. I have been through all of the stages of the hair weave thing. I will say this white women wear more of it then any other race and no one says anything. Actually when they wear it they are put in the spotlight and it is so cute. I will admit I am a artist and I consider it art. Being able to alter your appearance be attaching or extending something to your body is the oldest form of art. Study history. I wore a afro for 3 years straight and I wanted a different look so I tried weave. It is all about a look. Hair is a fashion now and basically always been people have been wearing wigs for ages. Now since black women have been wearing it we are considered fake. That is intriges me. I want to see people make comment about white women and their fake stuff. The reality show "Wives of Orange County" all those women are fake and they do not get put down. What baffles me about black men is they will say nasty comments about black women and fake hair. But will be fascinated by fake boobs on white women. To sum it up in America is fake we eat fake food and that is worst then what you put on. So what is better fake food or fake hair. Besides who are men to tell us what to wear. Let's talk about what men are wearing. Why so much beating on black women. We still have not escaped the Willie Lynch Theory.

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Sidditty I assume you are a man so I guess you thing we black women hate ourselves. I wear weave and I did not hate myself. I like the variety of hair styles I can wear. So I do not need a man telling me what to wear. I understand concepts that have been placed in our society about beauty but there are fashion statement. Well that is all you men are going to think what you want. I am pretty sure all races of men make comments about their women. I am liberated from what men think.

Siditty · 1 year ago

I for one wear weaves and wigs because, i love the versatility it gives me with styling. i can change my look as and when i feel like. My hair is in its natural african state and i love to wear it out on occassion in a fro. i also love to experiment with coloured contacts but all these have no bearing on my view of self and or confidence. i know who i am and love who i am, and all the externals are just me having fun plain and simple.

And that is how it should be, women just wanting to change things up. Lil Kim is trying to be Barbie or Pamela Anderson.

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I will say this white women wear more of it then any other race and no one says anything. Actually when they wear it they are put in the spotlight and it is so cute. I

I don't think weave and peroxide blonde hair is cute on white women either.

What baffles me about black men is they will say nasty comments about black women and fake hair. But will be fascinated by fake boobs on white women.

I am not a man.

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Sidditty I assume you are a man so I guess you thing we black women hate ourselves. I wear weave and I did not hate myself. I like the variety of hair styles I can wear. So I do not need a man telling me what to wear. I understand concepts that have been placed in our society about beauty but there are fashion statement. Well that is all you men are going to think what you want. I am pretty sure all races of men make comments about their women. I am liberated from what men think.

I am a woman who is married to a man and I am very happy you are liberated from what men think.

Rae · 4 months ago

Omg most women(and im not zoning in on any one race) wear weaves for thousands of different reasons! Here think outside the box: jus becuz there hair is already long doesn't mean it's useless to get a weave, for example maybe they work out everyday and they're press sweats out, no one especially a black woman in their right mind would restraighten it EVERY DAY! That's wayy too much heat and will quickly damage your own hair. Now if they worked out with a weave who cares? The weave will dry straight after being drenched with sweat. There's no one reason for getting a weave. It's nice to give your hair a break for awhile so what? No one should be judged jus because they were born with long straight hair and want curly short hair or curly long hair for a couple months, they should do and get whatever they want!! Please stop judging bcuz you just sound rude and unthoughtful. [all black women aren't lil kim, Duh]

Siditty · 4 months ago

But it is useless to get a weave if you have long hair. If you work out with long hair you put it up, you wrap it at night. You don't straighten it everyday. I have yet to see a black woman with natural waist length hair run to get a weave for less maintenance. Weaves are costly and cause breakage, why would black women with long hair want to break off their hair and spend money on hair they already have?

If you want to give your hair a break, you wear protective styles, like buns and updos, you don't put glue or tracks in your head that cause further damage.

thelady · 4 months ago

I wore hazel colored contacts for few days, they were a free trial pair (I have glasses). I hated the way they looked on me yet dudes complimented me on "my" light eyes. I think they make black people look like vampires.

Never had a weave or wig (except one shiny gold one for Halloween). I've always had thick/long afro textured hair, I try not to be too judgmental of women with shorter hair but I hate when weaves look obviously fake.

I don't like light hair in general, I just don't find it attractive. Even on white people I prefer medium brown to black hair. I do like red hair on white women. I've had red brown highlights before and I've dyed my hair black. My natural color is dark brown.
I do thing Lil Kim and Letoya suffer from self hatred. The extremes they have gone to surgery+fake hair+fake eyes make me think it is more than just trendiness or experimenting with their look.

Anyone ever notice that colored contacts scare babies?

shayyyyyy · 1 month ago

It's called doing what you WANT TO DO. IT'S THEIR FACE AND BODIES so they can do w/e they want...also, blk people come in all shapes and forms just like other races...so the point of this commentary is?!

siditty · 2 weeks ago

The point is, it's my blog and I blog about whatever I damn well please, and I know that in reality black women succumb to mainstream beauty standards, which don't reflect us, leading to a lot of self hatred in some instances.